Funny

It is NOT a chemical burn. It's an activation of TRPV1 receptors. Normally these receptors activate due to increased temperature, capsaicin activation means they think there's literally an increase in temperature. They THINK you're burning, but you're not. There's no chemical burn; it's reversible and generally safe with no lasting damage.

Your fat soluble comments are accurate, although it's really time more than anything else that will alleviate the pain. You do not need to soak your hands in oil before washing, not sure where you got that from. Soap and water works fine.

Gordon Ramsey ate peanut butter for this purpose once and I've been curious to try that. I feel like it would work.

Without context this picture will haunt me for a long time. I hate mold.

When she does it again and again, around the 5th time or so, she'll discover she is a chilli head.

My buddy brought a pizza to work. A local pizzeria makes what they call a Russian Roulette. It’s a regular large pizza with jalapeños… Except that one slice has Carolina reaper blended into the sauce under the cheese. He told us all the gimmick, we all laughed and circled round to take a bite at the same time.

That sly motherfucker had asked them to make the entire pizza with the reaper sauce. The heat was immediate and overwhelming, and all of us simultaneously went “oh god oh fuck I got the reaper slice.” And as we all rushed to the lone water fountain, we realized what he had done.

It was a great prank. We all ended up fighting over that water fountain for like 20 minutes, like we were trapped underwater holding our breath, and it was the only air hose.