this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2025
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Founding father Benjamin Franklin secured the alliance with France that led to victory in the Revolutionary War, negotiated the Treaty of Paris ending said war, signed the Declaration of Independence and the U.S Constitution, discovered that lightning was electrical, invented bifocal glasses, wrote the famous Poor Richard’s Almanac, and ran newspapers.

He also had some thoughts on farting.

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[–] cheeseburger@piefed.ca 41 points 2 weeks ago

"So I got this great gig modeling for stock images..."

[–] YetAnotherNerd@sopuli.xyz 36 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah, but let’s come up with a better term. The German term isn’t much better.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] YetAnotherNerd@sopuli.xyz 25 points 2 weeks ago

Verdauungsspaziergang, and Gehfurz

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] bluegreenpurplepink@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My translator is saying Flaftenvaften is a Danish term meaning, "the evening of the fluttering" lol

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 17 points 2 weeks ago

Now that's a beautiful way to put it.

[–] bluegreenpurplepink@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Furzspaziergang? der Furzgang?

[–] Apollo98@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

It seems to be borrowed from English and is just Fart-walk? Idk, I’m not German or Austrian. https://www.derstandard.at/story/3000000301098/blaehungen-nach-dem-festmahl-probieren-sie-es-mit-einem-fart-walk

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago
[–] guy_threepwood@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I always knew it as “the beef walk”

[–] cjoll4@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

The beef walk is when you walk away from company when you feel a fart coming on.

The fart walk is light exercise immediately after a meal to promote digestion.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait people walk for mental health, and not to crop dust their neighborhood?

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Crop dusting my neighborhood is for my mental health

[–] veniasilente@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I fartwalked before it was cool.

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

I used to fartwalk to school. Upwind both ways.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 weeks ago

Its like media outlets publish this every year around the holidays.

https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1218737982

[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ben Franklin was a rebel indeed

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 16 points 2 weeks ago

"Gentlemen, we must fart together--or else, we shall surely fart separately!"

[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

He liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed

[–] Lexam@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Never trust a fart.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

lol, “start”, they say.

[–] tamal3@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I fart run. But golly had to stop in front of someone's house and didnt realize they had a security camera trained on the road...

[–] nostrauxendar@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Do security cameras pick up audio??

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 weeks ago

Typically yes.

[–] telllos@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Always use the dump and crab move technic

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 3 points 2 weeks ago

Get fartlekken