Should be easy, considering they don't exist to begin with.
this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2026
406 points (97.4% liked)
Not The Onion
21382 readers
801 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Shush. We're this close to getting them to tax contrails, which would effectively be a tax on jet fuel.
No, you can fly to avoid the creation of contrails. Ironically, would actually be a boon for the environment, since contrail clouds are massive greenhouse generators https://youtube.com/shorts/qBPwloCdRKw
I thought they were just condensation?
Yes, but the phenomenon occurs at specific altitudes, so you just fly slightly higher or lower.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(5 replies)
until they decide enforcement means no contrails at all and suddenly they've found a new and exciting way to economically ruin the country.
load more comments
(37 replies)
Depends on your definition of "chemical". Technically all trails are chem trails, including hiking trails.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
How are we this stupid?
Republicans are in control
3-4 decades of purposefully undermining public education
More like 5-7 decades.. "anti-nerd" culture has been popular since about the 50's
load more comments
(1 replies)
A large portion of people are stupid, it's sad
load more comments
(3 replies)
How do you think the conspiracy nuts will react if this bill becomes law and then there are just as many contrails in the sky as before?
Depends. How gay are the frogs?
It would be pretty funny if that makes those people snap and they end up being the ones to drag Trump and his cronies into the street and tear him apart like zombies.
Though they’d likely all just be shot to death while trying, which I guess maybe win-win?
load more comments
(5 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
We live in the stupidest timeline.
Hell yeah, brother. People have elevated the presumed sanctity of their beliefs, no matter how stupid, to be the most sacred of liberties. Even over life and health.
load more comments
(2 replies)
It sounds like they're mixing "chemtrails" and "cloud seeding". And they don't understand either...
How dare you read the article!
That is by far one of the stupidest public consultations I've read about.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Should be easy for the airlines to comply with, since they don't leave chemtrails, they leave contrails.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Red State voters living in abject poverty: "Republicans is gittin important stuff done!"
load more comments
(1 replies)
Whoopee. Now the fucking fringers have become the mainstream.
The sad thing is that there is a huge amount that could be done for global warming with some basic legislation around contrails. Clouds that high in the atmosphere are quite bad in terms of greenhouse effect. By avoiding flying through areas that they'd be generated there's a surprisingly large environmental benefit for minimal cost. A good explainer: https://youtu.be/QoOVqQ5sa08
I never thought it about as a green house thing before though I do remember reading an article many years ago that contrails do contribute when they spread out into cirrostratus clouds.
I was a meteorologist in the Air Force and did make forecasts telling pilots at what levels to fly to avoid making contrails since having a long silver line pointing to your exact location makes sneak attacks a little difficult. Perhaps commercial airlines should make use of that information. It's usually just a few thousand foot difference. Fly a little higher or lower and problem solved.
It bans cloud seeding and geoengineering. Passing this off as a 'ban on chemtrails' is deliberately dishonest.
a Class B misdemeanor for the injection, release or dispersal of “a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within or above this state for the purpose of affecting the weather, including temperature, climate, and intensity of sunlight.
So they're going after the companies polluting the planet right... Right?
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Please pass this bill, that'd be so hilarious, the US inadvertently closing it's airspace semi permanently because they're such dumbasses
Alabama not the US house. That headline needs a lot of context
The House needs a bill to prevent idiots from entering politics.
We, uh, could just fund secular public education.
And yeah, I’m kinda pissed I have to add “secular” to that.
load more comments
(5 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Oh, I get get it. The crazy weather that were experiencing is not global warming, it's chemtrails. And caused by the government. 🙃
This is what the decline in education and humility gets you in America.
State law. Kind of. It’s Alabama, so…
They should simply require the Jewish Space Laser zap any chemtrails.
Republicans will do literally anything to avoid actually governing.
Google calculated that planes could avoid the air conditions that cause vapor trails, but it would cost around 2% extra fuel. That means it's a hard no from any airline.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Come on guys you all know."Atheist are using unicorn's to spread chemtrails to kill off all the Angeles in heaven."
view more: next ›