this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2026
403 points (97.6% liked)

Not The Onion

20501 readers
971 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Republicans will do literally anything to avoid actually governing.

[–] RamRabbit@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

It bans cloud seeding and geoengineering. Passing this off as a 'ban on chemtrails' is deliberately dishonest.

a Class B misdemeanor for the injection, release or dispersal of “a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within or above this state for the purpose of affecting the weather, including temperature, climate, and intensity of sunlight.

[–] NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

So they're going after the companies polluting the planet right... Right?

[–] Zangoose@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Presumably companies would be able to argue they aren't pushing out pollutants with the intention to change the climate

[–] NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

Unfortunately "the purpose of a system is what it does" doesn't count as a valid argument when the ones in charge of the system have more money than the courts :/

[–] ThomasWilliams@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

No it isn't.

They claim the recent floods were because of chemtrails from planes seeding in the sky (those trails of water vapour you see behind planes, ), based on aluminium found on the ground (cloud seeding is done with silver iodide btw and is incredibly expensive).

Stop trying to downplay it.

[–] zephiriz@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 day ago

Come on guys you all know."Atheist are using unicorn's to spread chemtrails to kill off all the Angeles in heaven."

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

So we banned ...water vapor. Well done, house committee.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

So we banned ...water vapor

No. A chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within or above this state for the purpose of affecting the weather, including temperature, climate, and intensity of sunlight.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

so.. we banned clouds!

[–] Erro@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Di hydrogen monoxide fits the definition of a chemical...

[–] ThomasWilliams@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

No, they are banning water vapour. Read the article.

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

No, you read the article. Here's the direct quote

Holley and others were speaking on House Bill 25 by State Representative Mack Butler, R-Rainbow City, which would create a Class B misdemeanor for the injection, release or dispersal of “a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within or above this state for the purpose of affecting the weather, including temperature, climate, and intensity of sunlight.”

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

ICE is coming for your tea kettles!

[–] lechekaflan@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Whoopee. Now the fucking fringers have become the mainstream.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Please pass this bill, that'd be so hilarious, the US inadvertently closing it's airspace semi permanently because they're such dumbasses

Alabama not the US house. That headline needs a lot of context

[–] kurmudgeon@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

This is what the decline in education and humility gets you in America.

[–] Professorozone@lemmy.world 35 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Should be easy for the airlines to comply with, since they don't leave chemtrails, they leave contrails.

[–] Onsotumenh@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 23 hours ago

You know what else leaves contrails? Politicians!

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I can't wait to see the house subcommittee hearing where a bunch of old republicans, playing lip-service for their uneducated base, interrogate a Boeing exec about what's coming out of the back of their planes, and the Boeing exec's display board catches fire and explodes on the house floor.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] 0x0f@piefed.social 158 points 2 days ago (44 children)

Should be easy, considering they don't exist to begin with. 

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 86 points 2 days ago (11 children)

Shush. We're this close to getting them to tax contrails, which would effectively be a tax on jet fuel.

load more comments (11 replies)
load more comments (43 replies)
[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 71 points 2 days ago (6 children)
[–] Sunflier@lemmy.world 57 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Republicans are in control

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

3-4 decades of purposefully undermining public education

[–] Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

More like 5-7 decades.. "anti-nerd" culture has been popular since about the 50's

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Alabama State House. Not the U.S. House.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Alabama

Nothing of value was lost nor gained from this bill.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 49 points 2 days ago (3 children)

We live in the stupidest timeline.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] COASTER1921@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The sad thing is that there is a huge amount that could be done for global warming with some basic legislation around contrails. Clouds that high in the atmosphere are quite bad in terms of greenhouse effect. By avoiding flying through areas that they'd be generated there's a surprisingly large environmental benefit for minimal cost. A good explainer: https://youtu.be/QoOVqQ5sa08

[–] Pirat@lemmy.org 15 points 2 days ago

I never thought it about as a green house thing before though I do remember reading an article many years ago that contrails do contribute when they spread out into cirrostratus clouds.

I was a meteorologist in the Air Force and did make forecasts telling pilots at what levels to fly to avoid making contrails since having a long silver line pointing to your exact location makes sneak attacks a little difficult. Perhaps commercial airlines should make use of that information. It's usually just a few thousand foot difference. Fly a little higher or lower and problem solved.

[–] rimu@piefed.social 63 points 2 days ago (10 children)

How do you think the conspiracy nuts will react if this bill becomes law and then there are just as many contrails in the sky as before?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

Depends. How gay are the frogs?

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Red State voters living in abject poverty: "Republicans is gittin important stuff done!"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 48 points 2 days ago (4 children)

It sounds like they're mixing "chemtrails" and "cloud seeding". And they don't understand either...

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (4 children)

The chemtrails aren't a thing, but in the legislators small mind, who would be behind them? Are they actually thinking that there's some private individual that is spending billions building a secret massive network of bribed pilots and bribed mechanics that are spraying such chemicals to change the weather or influence the people in some ways?

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Are they actually thinking

Imma stop you right there...

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›