this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 13 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

"Try pointy stick."

"Me no want to."

gets stabbed by pointy stick

"Me now see value of pointy stick."

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 1 points 1 hour ago

But that would be a stabby stick. A pointy stick is to point at stuff.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 9 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

I threw a pinecone at a bird that was picking at the siding. Seemed to break his brain to see something coming at him like that.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 14 points 4 hours ago

you: throws pinecone at mach 30

birb: is-is that a.... squints

birb: GAH! FUCK!!!

1000003641

[–] Bwaz@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Monkeys can and do throw things that are much smellier than rocks.

[–] MrFinnbean@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

Trivia time: Chimpanzees are the best primates after man at throwing.

At best they can throw things at the level of semi-athletic child.

Humans have unique rotating shoulder joint that just gives us a huge edge over any other species, when it comes to throwing things.

[–] Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 hours ago

People think we won because of our big brains or fire use, no, it's cause we have the only halfway decent ranged ability in the game.

We broke the assumption that billions of years of evolution was built on, distance = safety.

[–] Frenchgeek@lemmy.ml 9 points 5 hours ago

Dexterity exploit speedrun.

[–] BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 37 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (2 children)

When apes learned to sharpen sticks, every other animal was FUUUUUUUUUCKED. Those animals should try not to be so stupid though. Dogs and cats are smart. They joined our side.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 hours ago

Humans made dogs!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 17 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holocene_extinction

Going strong for over 30,000 years.

Dogs and cats are smart. They joined our side.

Dogs and cats are half the fucking problem.

[–] BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 16 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

A recent study by the Smithsonian Institution and the US Fish and Wildlife Service estimated that domestic cats kill about 2.4 billion birds and 12.3 billion small mammals each year in the lower forty-eight states. This is far higher—and probably more accurate–than previous figures, and likely exceeds all other sources of human-related losses of these animals.

[–] BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 13 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not sure we are in the same conversation, brother. I said that cats benefited from befriending humanity. You seem to be posting statistics that argue in my favor.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I said that cats benefited from befriending humanity

Absolutely. And I added that they're a primary agent by which humans propagate the Holocene Extinction.

Like, we wouldn't be nearly as successful at killing so many small mammals and insects if we weren't bringing domesticated cats with us all over the world.

[–] BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I see what you're saying.

We didn't bring cats anywhere though, they came on their on volition. They do what they want. Dogs are just happy to be anywhere.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

It came on it's own accord. Whether we wanted it there or not, it would have gone there.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 4 hours ago

It came on it’s own accord.

It literally had to be dragged along hissing and scratching

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 hours ago

Wait, the cat drove a Honda? I must have missed that in the article.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

Ok but I mean, how many of those birds are pigeons and rats? That's a service...

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 22 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Don't forget sharp stick! Sharp stick game changer

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 11 points 6 hours ago

Can’t overlook banging rocks together to get a sharper rock. Big tech, invest now!

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

It is funny how until the invention of ~~fire ants~~ firearms, almost always the best weapon was a pointy stick.

Then firearms happen and we learned to throw the stick very quickly.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Fire ants are also a viable biological weapon, knew a guy who had a nest of the things thrown at him. Poor bastard had to take an alcohol bath to get them all off.

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 hour ago

At summer camp when I was like 8 a camper stood in a fire ant nest without realizing it and had bites ALL up and down her legs. I remember a couple of older kids hauling her to the counselors while she was just screaming, crying and unable to walk from the pain. Watch out for fire ant nests, they will fuck you up!

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 7 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

The white, African man learned to throw rocks. Yeah...

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 hour ago

It’s a Neanderthal according to reverse image searches for the original illustration. There were light skinned Neanderthals in Europe, so it’s not an inaccurate illustration, just an inaccurate caption

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Also cuts his hair and beard

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

We won the arms race, we have literal arms

[–] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 6 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

We didn't even need to throw a rock. There's evidence that early man was a persistence hunter.

All other animals sprint. But man is the only animal that could jog them to death by jogging and never stopping until the animal collapses from exhaustion.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 8 points 5 hours ago

In addition to the ability to jog, run and walk during the hottest part of the day ... early humans could avoid most predators who were less capable of being active in the heat. The benefits of being a hairless sweaty upright ape.

[–] Hegar@fedia.io 10 points 7 hours ago

"Saying a big hello to all you sentient lifeforms out there and for everyone else the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys!"

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 9 points 7 hours ago

And not just throw rock, also run very long distance.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 6 points 7 hours ago

Then man learned to fly. Then man learned to drop suns from the sky.

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 4 points 6 hours ago

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but fucking fire was what broke my home.

[–] rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Oop, looks like I just learned to hoy this fucking rock with some woven vines over much greater distances! I am clearly your god.

[–] chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Big rock. Sharp stick. Squiggly brain.

Ug big smart hunter.

[–] jlow@slrpnk.net 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

And I'm gonna make it a lifeless hellscape for all of us, yay!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Nonsense. We're doing for the cockroach what Big Meteor did for the Purgatorius.

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

And watch as how I make my own fellow man's life hell and ruin the planets ecosystem for everyone

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 0 points 5 hours ago (1 children)