A casual community for people with ADHD
Values:
Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.
Rules:
Encouraged:
Relevant Lemmy communities:
lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.
Double speed audio.
I have real difficulty with listening to people speaking slowly. By the time they finish the sentence I have lost the start, so unless I actively hold their sentence until it is done I often lose meaning or misunderstand.
Listening at double speed allows me to keep up without losing what was said. I listen to audiobooks and podcasts while doing most chores and it has been a game changer.
The part of my brain that needs to be interested in something to do it is actually very stupid and easily tricked. Sometimes when I’m stuck all I have to do is literally pretend I find the work engaging.
Related, there's some evidence that forcing a smile can improve one's mood.
Be the change you want to see in ~~the world~~ yourself.
Fake it 'till you ~~make it~~ feel it.
Not going through life alone. I dont necessarily mean you need a significant other. But someone who cares for you and is willing to help hold you accountable.
And TAKE NOTES!
I had a really great boss a while back. I was a team lead and he noticed that I'd have a hard time remembering things. Like, he'd give me 5 tasks to do, and I'd only remember 2 or 3 of them. I'd just space out, or my priorities would be fucked up. So he'd come back hours later "hey, did you do this thing yet?" "Oh, I forgot about that".
Eventually, he decided to "force" me to carry a little notebook and had me write the tasks down. He'd start talking to me about the things we needed to do and suddenly go "oh, you should write this down".
Now 10 years later, its a strong habit for me. Anytime I talk to someone at work, I bust out the notebook and just start taking notes. Then later in my office I'll consolidate the notes.
It's helped me out a ton. That boss giving me reminders and helping me to build the habit is one of the greatest skills he taught me. Thanks to him, my second marriage is much better because I can actually listen to my partner (yes, I take notes when my wife and I are talking about bills and plans and chores).
Between writing things down and having someone who would help give me reminders and feedback on my successes and failures, ive definitely grown so much more than I ever could alone.
I can second that taking notes has been a life saver. I use Ms one note and being able to search through old notes I took to get context on current things has been a major life saver
Keeping a scrub daddy and shower cleaner in the shower. The only time I remember it's dirty is while I'm in there. Similarly, I keep a toothbrush in the shower and one on the sink. Same with floss. As well as a garbage can reachable from the shower so empty bottles don't sit in there for WEEKS.
Oh! I have see through glass jars in the bathroom for things like reusable face cloths, q tips etc. That's not the hack (but clear makes it easy to see), the hack is that the big one is full of cleaning rags so I don't have to go find something to clean with.
Audiobooks have been an amazing hack for me to stay focused on every day household tasks. Listening to an interesting book engages my upper level thoughts (monkey mind) and makes things like folding laundry or dishes much more engaging. I still have a tendency to just fuck off when it's half done but I can keep in motion and stay in the groove and circle around again after doing other necessities.
Simply the act of writing something down, with an actual pen on actual paper, really does help with memory. I know it's a really common thing to suggest, especially in school and classes but I completely skipped it then and only started doing this in the past decade so it's new to me. I've noticed such a dramatic difference in my recall of things that I wrote down vs things that were said to me, even if I never look at the notepad again.
Also, I absolutely hate this, but having less free time. I have less free time now than I ever have before and I've been astonished at how much I've been getting done. Every day I have pressure to do as much as I possibly can within a small window of time and it's been great for my ADHD, but I resent it and grumble about it and wish it didn't work so well.
If you have pets and you feed them on a regular schedule, plan something you need to do for yourself at that time as well. They won't let you forget to feed them, they're going to be really annoying about it, and then you're already up so you might we well do the thing.
Amphetamines
I'm in France and we still don't have amphetamines. We have methylphenidate.
I wish we had better :(
Alarms and timers for everything.
Custom sounds for phone to be 10dB higher than normal, to ensure I hear them and don't just block it out as noise.
Putting things that need taking care of later somewhere visible, like my laundry directly in front of my bedroom door so I have to do something with it just to open the door.
Having autism, too, so the ADHD problems just naturally balance out.
Putting things that need taking care of later somewhere visible
That can work but also can lead to tons of clutter.
Yup! And you can get where you'll step right over the garbage that needs taking out as you go outside and not even notice.
Being accountable to someone. Also my least favorite ADHD lifehack.
For me, those are deadlines. Nothing better.
most effective answer, and therefore the one i most avoid
I have a job working with teams to improve processes. I think a lot about waste and efficiencies, what end users will actually do or adopt, making things easier / faster, etc. Now I think about these things all the time in daily life, apply them to my ADHD, and iterate endlessly:
Also, radical acceptance of the things that are limiters.
Hot damn do I love gloves. I bought a 5000-count case five years ago and I’m just about out of them. Turns out making it easier to touch icky things like the sink strainer was well worth the $50.
If you really like doing something such as watching a new episode of your series on YouTube, but hate something else like exercising, combine the two. Only watch that series, while exercising. Then you'll start looking forward to the exercise because you get to watch your series.
This is how I do laundry. My washer and dryer both conveniently take ~55 minutes to run a cycle, which also happens to be almost the exact runtime of most hour-long shows. Or like three episodes of a 24 minute show. So I combine the two; I watch TV while doing laundry.
Episode gets done? Check the dryer to see if it’s done. That way the clothes don’t just sit there for hours and wrinkle. Get all the loads done and out of the dryer, and laid flat on my couch and ottoman. Then I’ll take an episode or two to just throw hangers on everything. Get it all nicely sorted how it’s going to go in the closet. Then focus on socks and underwear, which have accumulated in a pile. Once everything is completely done and sorted, putting it away takes no time at all. And it doesn’t feel as much like a chore, because I’m just watching TV while doing it. And the important part is that I use the episodes as a timer, not as a distraction.
This is how I do laundry. My washer and dryer both conveniently take ~55 minutes to run a cycle, which also happens to be almost the exact runtime of most hour-long shows. Or like three episodes of a 24 minute show. So I combine the two; I watch TV while doing laundry.
Episode gets done? Check the dryer to see if it’s done. That way the clothes don’t just sit there for hours and wrinkle. Get all the loads done and out of the dryer, and laid flat on my couch and ottoman. Then I’ll take an episode or two to just throw hangers on everything. Get it all nicely sorted how it’s going to go in the closet. Then focus on socks and underwear, which have accumulated in a pile. Once everything is completely done and sorted, putting it away takes no time at all. And it doesn’t feel as much like a chore, because I’m just watching TV while doing it.
That's actually genius. Imma try that.
This strategy is known as "temptation bundling." It's a thing. Amusingly, I learned about this because I was doing it (mowing the lawn + my favorite podcast.)
https://characterlab.org/tips-of-the-week/temptation-bundling/
I mainly struggle with the executive dysfunction part. I found that preparing anything at all helps, even just opening the document I need to write on another screen will mean that whenever my attention next detaches from whatever else I'm doing, I will automatically latch onto what I'm supposed to do as the next thing.
This is the only way I managed to make progress on my bachelor's thesis.
Ok but this is so smart! I'm gonna try this.
If you're trying to do thing A but your brain can't stop thinking about thing B, take out a notebook and write down all your current thoughts on thing B. Trust yourself that when you get back to it, you will be right where you left off. Then do thing A.
For example, trying to work on a paper but you can't stop thinking about the season finale of your favorite show you just watched.
Doesn't always work but helps a lot.
I do what I call "productive procrastination".
I allow myself to procrastinate by doing something else instead that's also necessary to do.
Of course, "necessary" is a slippery term.
But what definitely doesn't fall under it is doom-scrolling, day-drinking and wikipedia rabbit holes.
This actually lets me be pretty productive throughout the day, as long as I have tasks I can push back endlessly.
Like, I haven't brought my finances and investments in proper order in over 10 years.
Which probably cost me a 5-digit amount in lost profit over that time frame.
But I'm fortunate enough to not feel it and accept things like this as my ADHD tax.
It would take a couple hours, but would involve decisions and it never becomes urgent.
Don't punish yourself for not succeding in something, punish yourself for not putting the effort
What if I'm not successful in putting in the effort?
Doesn't matter, try as hard as you can even if you are procrastinating, try to stop and do something, it's hard for normal people and even harder for us
If you feel like you're struggling to accomplish a task, take a moment to think about your stimulation level. Are you understimulated or overstimulated? Sometimes just acknowledging it is enough, everyone has their own techniques.
For example, if I'm trying to work and I'm understimulated, I might throw on some metal music or something like that. If I'm overstimulated, probably means I should sit in a dark room for 5 or 10 minutes until I feel better before trying to do anything.
Everything goes in the calendar. Especially regular but infrequent things like birthdays. I set reminders a few days to a week before so I have time to adjust plans / buy presents or whatever.
If I'm having trouble motivating myself to do something, I commit to doing a bare minimum amount. For example going to the gym if I'm feeling unmotivated I might commit to just doing one exercise. Dishes maybe I'll just wash one plate / pan. Once I've used that to get over the initial hurdle I'll usually be able to ride the wave and complete everything.
regular but infrequent things like birthdays
And for friends’ kids’ birthdays I put the year they were born because I definitely won’t remember how old they are
Loud, energizing music will calm you by feeding a steady stream of dopamine.
Sadly this is also why I can fall asleep at a party after a coffee.
Noise canceling headphones and white/background noise or music. Rather than true "white noise" I prefer deeper stuff like cosmic or other low wavelength noise.
For anyone who doesn't know, Mynoise has tons of free soundscapes of all kinds, they're all customizable with sliders with different sound tracks, and the different sound tracks never terminate at the same time, so there's never a jarring loop. And there's even more if you donate any amount, even just one time.