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Retard.
Eh, I use it for very stupid people. Obviously devoid of ableist intent.
I feel as though the context matters with this. For the genuinely evil and criminally unintelligent I would use the clinical "Mentally retarded".
"Retard" and music (low volume) on buses are the controversial hills I'm willing to die on.

Pick better hills.
"Everyone's always asking me: 'What are you doing, retard?', but nobody ever asks 'How are you doing, retard?'"
All that and a bag of chips
Syke. Or psych. Early 90's kid slang, had a definition akin to just kidding or fooled you but more mean spirited. Said to mark the previous statement as intended purely to mess with the listener's mind or psych them out. Similar in spirit to ending a sarcastically spoken sentence with "NOT!" though distinct.
"Yeah man, you can drive my car. Psych! You're not touching my ride."
The more I type about it, the less "psych" looks like a valid English word.
Information superhighway
We were so full of hope.