this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 1 points 6 hours ago

Hitting the top of the flagpole in Mario.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 10 points 22 hours ago

Honest answer?

First time I wrote my own mod.

[–] Sarothazrom@lemmy.world 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

100%ing Silksong, probably

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I just started that one, after finishing the first one and immediately jumping into my second play through. I'm not very far in so far but wow, it's already looking like an amazing sequel for a first game I'd already describe as flawless. Like I got so used to the first one that the early game seemed almost trivial in that second play through but silksong's enemies don't follow the same patterns and are able to hit me pretty regularly. And both games are filled with this strange bleak charm.

[–] Sarothazrom@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

theyre some of the most somber games to exist and they're so soothing.

like their hardest levels are downright peaceful despite how brutal they are because they makes the repetition of dying over and over so relaxing.

the first game made me emotional when i was still in school and silksong made me emotional last yesr and shfjrkdhrjtkekje 🥺

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

I'm gushing a bit about the games and that part of me thought they might be the best games I've ever played and the other part of me that would normally say hold up a second is having trouble coming up with any strong contenders. Subnautica maybe. Metroid Prime, if the controls were better. Hades would make the top list but wouldn't top them. Ori rivals it for beauty and atmosphere but not controls and combat; it's not even close there (though it's possible I just need to get farther in to really appreciate Ori).

[–] Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 day ago

Oof where to begin. Night elf guard lady NPCs. The anaphomorphic bunny lady with the crotch curtain in final fantasy, dont remember which one. Vampire the masquerade: bloodlines, Velvet the toreador at Vesuvius. Jeanette the Makavian. If you waited long enough in dialogue they would start looking around and then spring back, causing a boob shake.

[–] ForgottenUsername@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just what Rockstar wanted, to "provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment".

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

And just a liiiitle bit of shame

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 72 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Weird shit you did as a kid go:

I got y'all beat. (No pun intended)

Too scared to look up porn. Thinking I'd be caught. Ended up knocking over peasants in one of the early assassins creed games and rubbing my pants furiously when their underwear would show.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 84 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What is it about the internet that made you feel like sharing this?

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 60 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I used to wait until my mum would go shopping and then i would rub one out to the posters on the sex shop walls in GTA San Andreas

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I used to get off on making sims pee themselves.

[–] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You win...or lose. Whichever's worse.

[–] Magnum@infosec.pub 2 points 1 day ago

What is wrong with you people? Like all of you?

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How many times have you been peed on in real life?

That's advanced.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Tragically few, to your point.

[–] rainbowbunny@slrpnk.net 3 points 19 hours ago

Never too late to chase your dreams

[–] RogueBanana@piefed.zip 4 points 1 day ago

And how old were you when you discovered that?

[–] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Same but Duke Nukem 3D. Those were desperate times.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago

"Wanna dance?"

[–] Master_Suck@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago

Gaming related?

I let Banjo die and his sister be transformed so I could goon to sexy Gruntilda.

I set the CPU to Idle in Dead or Alive practice mode so I could knock over the female fighters and see their breasts heaving on the ground.

I finished to a car rocking back and forth in GTA 3.

Non-gaming?

No way in hell. Those die with me.

[–] titter@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Freud voice now tell us about, the peasant . . . A.K.A. your mother...?

Dr Ruth voice The Penis.... ......

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

When i was a wee little crusty teenager i was in detention and my phone got taken away but thankfully i had an old samsung which had like android 2 originally installed with some goofy ass rom that ported 7 onto it which was im pretty sure the newest at that point and i used it to wank. It had like a 2 inch screen but all i needed is something suggesting that there was something slightly suggestive on the screen. If i hadnt done this i would have probably burst with cum or something cause i was one crusty ass teenager.

[–] ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i was in detention

Your detention was not at all like our detention. Was it not supervised? Or public? Or in a group? Were you shut in a cupboard? Was this really detention or

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 2 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

It was europe so basically the school suggested id be grounded to my parents. Theres no american style detention there.

[–] ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Omg I would advise please just say you were grounded (because of trouble at school) then!

Using the word “detention”, as commonly understood, turns it from a normal story we can all relate to… into a fucking wild pretty gross claim by a super cringe boundless pervert, which I don’t think was your intent!?

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 2 points 16 hours ago

Wat, is it? I mean i guess american detention would mean i yanked it in school which is kinda insane so yeah. Tho i know someone who did it in class, hes fucking unhinged and should be quarantined 💀

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I have my greatest gaming moment on video!

I managed to land Valentina on the Mun in Kerbal Space Program only due to the game's insane physics simulation and a well timed explosion right in front of her slowing her down JUST ENOUGH to not die upon hitting the ground.

https://youtu.be/v2CdIZXO0tQ

It's the entire mission from launch to landing, so I'd skip to around the 23/24 minute mark for the good part.

I still haven't gotten her off the Mun and back to Kerbal... 🥺

[–] amda@feddit.nl 4 points 1 day ago

That was in fact an incredible landing! The glitchy ragdoll made it even better

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I had the sims 2 on my ps2 and I used the costume box to get two of the girls naked and had them make out and rapturbated to it.

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Classic move 😂

[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I once cranked my hog to the assassin in Diablo II.

I’m dead fucking serious.

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 1 points 20 hours ago

Did you attempt to put more armor in your pack then you could hold?

I think one of the responses was "Now, where would I put this?"

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Mate we gotta do what we gotta do to release the poison

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Poison is more of an Andariel thing…

Blood Raven and Andariel were voiced by Nancy Drew!

[–] wangaBanga@feddit.online 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

In a moment of desperation, I once used Cammy from Street Fighter as a go-to. All she had to do was stand there... So yes, I believe you. :/

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 2 points 20 hours ago

LOL. You just unlocked a memory. I discovered that while playing on sega genesis, I could remove the game cartridge by just yanking it up and that would cause the screen to freeze. If you did it right the picture would still be good, like a screenshot.

Anyway I used that playing as Cammy because her winning pose. Well you know, she turns to the side after a second.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

Street characters have always been thirst traps. I got the whole of the imternet and still chose that rout sometimes......

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 day ago

Hey man, when mom threw away the Sears catalogue, you had to do what you had to do.

[–] jtrek@startrek.website 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I recently reopened Witcher 3, and was kind of surprised by how the graphics aren't as lifelike as my memory. I remember being a lot more impressed by the bodies when it was new.

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I felt the same way about this and GTA 5 when i tried replaying it earlier this year just to see what I remembered. Last time I played it was on its original release date on the ps3. Don't get me wrong, they both look great, but yeah the character models are definitely dated and on the simpler side compared to today.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

....Does hurling slurs and insults at Elon's twitter account, right after he accidentally bought it, and then being banned from Twitter ... mostly likely directly by Elon, because he'd fired or locked out all the moderators at that point... does that count as a 'gamer moment'?

Its the actual only thing I've ever used Twitter for.

... Twitter is a really shitty MMO, right?

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

For me it was basically gaming itself in the 2000-2010. There was a really strong sense of communities and private servers all doing their thing, which for you felt like home. Especially counter-strike 1.6. Nowadays it's just centralized boring mess where people care about ranking and seemingly half play for gambling. The online gaming is dead to me, I've been only playing SP/Offline games for like 10 years now.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Amateur. I learned how to unlock the GTA SA hot coffee mode, which they somehow never fully removed.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I disticntly recall how I found out about the "hot coffee" mode - dear old dad was having a moral panic about me owning the game, because he had heard of this Hot Coffee mod that would make the characters naked or some such thing.

I gently had to explain to dad: "You do know I'm 24, right? I have conplete unfettered access to the internet connection in my house that I pay for myself, and have you noticed there is a nice young woman who comes over all the time? The one standing over there trying not to laugh? She takes her clothes off too."

I never bothered to figure out how to unlock it. I have the steam version now, can it be patched too?

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

I bet it could be patched by I hadn't checked in forever. It's actually more than nudity, though- it's like a sex minigame attached to the dating mechanics. You can see why it was dummies out, lol

[–] vane@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago