You're totally right. Without that inner life we'd just be forced into being exactly like our parents because we wouldn't grow as individuals.
I think the problem is when, hypothetically, that inner life that finds you first is a profit-driven hate-brewing death cult brought to you by an algorithm. Then these people "totally get you" and gives you a "community."
I miss when those unsupervised inner life communities were mostly around hobbies or games or whatever to escape life drudgery and make real friends. MySpace wasn't about viral brainwashing campaigns, YouTube was mostly creation for fun's sake, and even with online games and such, we all knew there was a separation between "the Internet" and "Real Life(TM)".
Everybody knew not to take the Internet seriously, because it was a place you went to escape everything else. Nothing really mattered on the internet.
I think now people don't really see a separation. The Internet is real life, in the worst way.
Now so much of it is a minefield of recruitment and manipulation to enlist in culture wars for clicks. There's labels and lifestyles that act as "funnels" and "pipelines" to increasingly toxic extreme identities that find "belonging" in being captive mindslaves and profit-cattle to any number of "influencers."
Well it's artificially upscaled, so it's like the original but appears to be superficially aping its qualities with no actual understanding of the source material.