xkbx

Let me tell you about the worst pair of titties I ever saw; they were awesome

God the age of this is older than some Lemmy users and it’s no less funny

“Guys, I gotta take a HUGE shit. Also, I might be a while because I’ll be furiously masturbating.”

bless his coming and his going

Your tone indicates anger, but your subject matter indicates something fun

Listen, sport, what you don’t understand is that you can be a great mechanic, but that doesn’t mean that you know SHIT about the race. Fact is, you’re gonna just carefully turn your corners, brake when you should accelerate, and stay in the pit when you could be circling those losers on two broken axles. Yeah, sure, you risk a little spinout once in a while. You just gotta get the car back straight and get in the race again. And yeah, you might crash. That’s why you wear a flame-retardant suit. And yeah, the fiery explosion might kill, maim, and injure all the fans, their children, burn all the small defenceless animals in the vicinity, and the resulting pollutants will likely give cancer to the staff & crew. But that’s what the insurance is for! And yeah, it’s expensive, but y’all got to get together and pool your money, or else people in the racing seat don’t get their trophies for winning, or exorbitant salaries as consolation prizes.

I mean did you even hear all the things she said?

I can’t do that, but I’ll put on a little red had and dance around

“So far, there has been no strong evidence in humans that links tattoos to cancer”

I mean all you really need is two butt cheeks and a tight pair of shorts. The comments will come

what kind of jelly supremacist bullshit do you have to be on to merit this

Do not ask for which goon the goon goons for, it goons for thee