That's right kids. Jesus. Imagine me sitting on a reversed chair.

Just saying

Should a level 12 illusionist really be dating a level 4 sorcerer?

Mana Dynamics

Able deserved everything Cain did to him, sanctimonious bastard...

I blame his awful mother for this. It's bad enough she left me and now she wants my son, my baby boy, to grow up to be a hardened criminal.

holding my 💩 in all weekend so i can shit while on the clock

and then it took 10 minutes to post this... then sonic's with his a british maw came out and it stunk so bad !!

(also finally federation, y'all missed me??)

Instead of saying "thems the breaks", say "thems the rim-brakes".

Instead of saying "I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place", say "I'm stuck between an SUV and also another, larger, SUV"

Instead of saying "as the crow flies", say "as the flying pigeon rides"

Instead of saying "bite the bullet", say "mount the schwalbe marathon"

Instead of saying "Cutting corners", say "cutting corners (on a bicycle)"

Instead of saying "Go back to the drawing board", say "Go back to the bicycle workshop"

Instead of saying "It's not rocket science", say "It's not retrodirect chainline"

Instead of saying "no pain, no gain", say "Don't ride upgrades, ride up grades"

Instead of saying "pull yourself together", say "Pull your peloton together"

Instead of saying "best of both worlds", say "gravel bike"

Instead of saying "don't get bent out of shape," say "don't be a steelframe"

Instead of saying "A penny saved is a penny earned", say "a gram saved is a gram earned"

Instead of saying "A picture is worth 1000 words", say "a pedalstroke is worth 1000 steps"

Instead of saying "Add insult to injury", say "add chainless drive to a vanmoof"

Instead of saying "Don't cry over spilt milk", say "Don't cry over spilt sealant"

april fools

I got an idea lets brigade posts by having them show up in subscribed feeds (we can call them brigeeds) and the all tab of this software that distributes posts to people running it by design and intention. The libs will be so mad.

i do be farting tho

I think because of the heat or humidity, but this season my cishet has been very low. I went to do the doctor for a scan. They told me I have zero cysts, which really freaks me out.

I've already tried the following:

• Buying magazines about muscular guys so I can be more like them
• Putting on alpha man hypno videos
• Going to rugby matches and cheering for our lads. Who's the quarterback? Is everyone the quarterback??
• Typing "manliest song" into Spotify and turning up the volume on my laptop

Please let me know what I'm doing wrong and how I can jack my cishet quantity.

ON THE GROUND DON'T MOVE ON THE GROUND I SAID GET ON THE GROUND!

PUT YOUR BEANS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM

And that’s promise

A pawn shop owned by a gay couple called "Gay Pawn"?

A pawn shop owned by a step-brother-sister duo where the sister is constantly getting stuck in appliances people an pawning called "Incest Pawn"?

Hey im spike sbeangel beanty hunter and debonair devil may-care protagonist from your favourite anime

And liked watched a movie or something.