7bicycles

Full disclosure: I was born yesterday

I live near the farmers house to provide the social service of "the farmer isn't alone". I have never talked to him.

But it does mean I am a vital part of food production and every city on earth has to subsidize both my 3000ft² mcmansion and that I park inside a city kindergarden, on a child

Lots to unpack on this one folks

not elaborating, do not @me

Instead of saying "thems the breaks", say "thems the rim-brakes".

Instead of saying "I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place", say "I'm stuck between an SUV and also another, larger, SUV"

Instead of saying "as the crow flies", say "as the flying pigeon rides"

Instead of saying "bite the bullet", say "mount the schwalbe marathon"

Instead of saying "Cutting corners", say "cutting corners (on a bicycle)"

Instead of saying "Go back to the drawing board", say "Go back to the bicycle workshop"

Instead of saying "It's not rocket science", say "It's not retrodirect chainline"

Instead of saying "no pain, no gain", say "Don't ride upgrades, ride up grades"

Instead of saying "pull yourself together", say "Pull your peloton together"

Instead of saying "best of both worlds", say "gravel bike"

Instead of saying "don't get bent out of shape," say "don't be a steelframe"

Instead of saying "A penny saved is a penny earned", say "a gram saved is a gram earned"

Instead of saying "A picture is worth 1000 words", say "a pedalstroke is worth 1000 steps"

Instead of saying "Add insult to injury", say "add chainless drive to a vanmoof"

Instead of saying "Don't cry over spilt milk", say "Don't cry over spilt sealant"