this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
133 points (98.5% liked)

Not The Onion

17177 readers
1763 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] nokturne213@sopuli.xyz 159 points 3 days ago (2 children)

the Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL)

For those that also had no idea what a bbl is.

[–] kadup@lemmy.world 58 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'm Brazilian and I don't know what a Brazilian butt lift is

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 70 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don't even know how many a Brazilian is.

[–] proper@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago

I think it’s a vermillion plus a gillian

[–] candyman337@lemmy.world 63 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

They take fat from elsewhere in your body and shove it in your ass, if they do it wrong and accidentally hit a vein, it can cause a pulmonary embolism. Even after if the surgery doesn't take the fat in your ass can rot and cause a smell. It's an insane and high risk surgery solely for cosmetics.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 44 points 3 days ago (1 children)

and shove it in your ass,

I think they inject it, but your way sounds more fun.

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Inject = Shove through a small needle :D

[–] Shayeta@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait, even if it fat doesn't rot it still doesn't integrate into tissue at the site of injection, right? It's just loose fat tissue pâté that adds volume with no structure?

[–] candyman337@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I'm not sure

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I know three girls who got BBLs in Florida and the "Doctor" used rubber cement. In the words of Dave Barry: I swear to god I'm not making this up! https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/fake-doctor-injected-cement-and-fix-a-flat-into-patients-butt-6544305

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 31 points 3 days ago

Fix-A-Flat

This tracks.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 19 points 3 days ago

I'm so glad that Kim Kardashian exists to inspire young people today...

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

🎵 I did it all for the butt lift (Come on)

The butt lift (Come on)

So you can take that fat blob

And stick it up your (Yeah)

Stick it up your (Yeah) 🎵

[–] Haus@kbin.earth 7 points 3 days ago

I'm glad. I've seen it a few times and that wasn't my first guess.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 34 points 3 days ago (3 children)

During a BBL, fat is liposuctioned from one area of the body and injected into the butt. If too much fat is packed into a single spot—more than blood vessels can support—it can die. That’s called fat necrosis, and it smells about as good as it sounds. “When there is more fat in an area than the blood supply allows, the fat will die through a smelly process,” Dr. Anderson told the Daily Mail. It’s a complication that can lead to infections, hospital stays, and in rare cases, sepsis.

Imagine if you love going down on your partner and the smell of rotten flesh is a few inches away.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

"Smells like something died in there"

[–] Doom@ttrpg.network 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Would make me think of my mother

[–] MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Goodbye internet

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I looked at the subreddit for bolted on butts, and they're so gross.

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Vice back at it with ground breaking journalism

[–] Noerknhar@feddit.org 42 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Hahaha, I don't know why, but this absolutely made my day.

The BBL smell, rotting fat - you can't make this shit up.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Look at this reddit comment of someone who had one.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 41 points 3 days ago (2 children)

They're so bad for you in general. I work adjacent to a neuro spine clinic and that's a fine way to wreck your back. But a big old cloud of stank ass wafting from it makes it worse.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Do a squat or inject my own decaying ass fat into my skin defying God and science both?

I know what to do

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Shit. I was on team squats but youre making this sound really good. Defying the laws of man and god is kind of my shit.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 22 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The BBL smell, rotting fat

You forgot the inability to properly wipe their ass (also mentioned in the article).

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

You can't even sit down for 6-8 weeks after the procedure. Like WTAF.

[–] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Reminded me of bart

[–] VirtualOdour@sh.itjust.works -3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Seems like a very mean spirited and spiteful person would have their day made by other people having problems.

[–] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Eh, when it's problems that could have easily been avoided by not doing something completely unnecessary I lose sympathy

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago

got that dumpy, that wagon haulin straight stank

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 3 days ago

Big Black Ligma?