I don't see an artist signature
this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2026
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You’ll have to download the autograph app.
It's a good app
They did a lot of work to remove the watermarks.
What kind of dickless bitch removes the fucking artist tags?!
Apologies to the good bitches
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$5.99 a month.
Double flush for only $10.00!
plus all the data flows over their own server, therefore has 3 seconds latency, sometimes doesn't work at all, and they retire the server after 5 years.
$19.99 a month for Unlimited flushes!
*Unlimited flushes are limited to 200 flushes, after that the flushing and tank refill rate are reduced to the 10% of the normal rate.
For unlimited unlimited flushes upgrade now to the Unlimited+ for $59.99 per month, subscription of one year required, penalty of 200% of the remaining year if cancelled.
**Unlimited+ does not include ad removal, user still has to watch a 30 seconds ad. Ad removal sold separately.
A higher tier gets you 5 unclogs a month and reduced ads!
And the app requires a non-jailbroken Apple or Android with strong play integrity plus photos of your face, your ID, and your shit to flush.
I'm normally a calm person. But this makes my blood boil.
And turn off DNS ad block and watch 3 unskippable ads to get an extra toilet paper. Wanna watch less ads? Agree to our use-your-excrement-to-train-ai and sell-your-data-to-our-10000-partners and you-can't-sue-us-over-data-breach EULA to watch one our AI-generated personalized ad instead
Remember when "drink verification can" was a funny absurd scenario and not something that seems like it could happen any day now?
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And then they will sell that data to health insurance
I'd be okay with this if I could integrate it with home assistant. Just poo, wipe, and go. If seat goes from detecting a user to not detecting a user for 30 seconds, then flush, wait 15 seconds, disperse air freshener aroma.
It can't be through a company cloud system though, it's got to be local only. My poo schedule is not for data collection! :p
It can’t be through a company cloud system though, it’s got to be local only.
Sorry, the best we can do is only having one data breach every six months, and the toilet refusing to flush if the internet ever goes out.
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The cool thing about the wifi-enabled model is you get the built in camera and microphone as standard
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"It's not that bad, you just need to listen to 3 un-skippable 3 minute ads, then you can flush"
I'm upvoting your comment because as an owner of several corporations, I think you've got a great idea!
Surge flushing is real.
Automatic DNA tests on whatever you "deposit" into the "specimen chamber" and results sold to the insurance companies so they can increase your rates of drop your coverage coincidentally before you see an actual diagnosed.
Your butt told on you for pre crime.. Minority Repoopt
Nobody has any business with my rates of drop
"Also the hole is only big enough for farts."
For poops, you need to upgrade to FlushMe Pro which is $200 monthly.
I'd just mail the manufacturer a bag of my shit.
Just dump a bucket of water in afterwards.
Make sure you enable developer mode before attempting to sideload water into the toilet!
I'm certain that already exists
Yah, I know there are super fancy toilets with app controllers. I've no doubt flushing is one of them.
As someone that has to download an app made by an Israeli firm just to open the gate to my underground parking lot, this is already a dystopian reality. Of course the app asks for all your data, so my name on it is Mr. Free Palestine.
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Pretty soon we'll have AI toilets for some reason. They'll be able to send push notifications to your phone. I imagine a future where your toilet is hungry because you went on vacation and needs you to shit in it so bad.
"Feed me, daddy."
Don't forget you will need to prove your identity by uploading your driving licence before you can download the app.
Hijinks ensue when they put their phone in their pocket unlocked while their spouse or child is using the toilet.
invest in some drill bits/hole saws rated for porcelain, and you can modify that shit off
My friend has a toilet that has its own remote control. There’s no flush handle. It’s the dumbest thing on earth.
Also don’t forget the monthly fee
This dystopian hell hole is already here. I present the Sloped Toilet to prevent workers from getting a few extra minutes.
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The older I get, the better I understand Harry Tuttle from Brasil.
What's with the pie
Long running Bizarro gag.
Next up, LG to begin toilet manufacturing so they can store a record or your turds in plaintext.
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