Technology

if you believe the only reason your partner isn't cheating is that you'd find out via location share; what the fuck is the point?

So we have two camps.

1. It's a tool to be used and it's a good thing to exists and I have it enabled forever

2. Keep a gun pointed at it at all occasions and even if you use it, do so with heavy restrictions

I trust my partner and my partner trusts me but the idea of stalking her via app is mindboggling and, honestly, disgusting to me. Like a dog on a leash, always observed, always controlled. That's some mind disease shit going on. Trust your partner dammit. Ya all have issues.

On the other hand though being violently agaisnt it cuz "oh my god privacy" is also funny. The recipent is your partner. Setting it up for some specific use case shouldn't be a bother. It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall - if you are not interested in going to the same shop, enable it, split, get what you need, join back, disable it.

What I am getting at is - it's a tool, but an invasive and overly controlling one. Use it how you wish but do not perceive having it on constantly as normal. It literally sounds disgusting.

If you have to use these things in a relationship, then you already have a problem.

today the guardian almost wrote something about a real concern that totally happened with sane people

Sounds like trust issues

When we need to know each others location, we share it via element / matrix. Our own server, so no third party.

Happens maybe four times a year.

(Also, do you just always have location services enabled?? IMO it's a battery drain, I pretty much only enable it for this and while I need to navigate)

My partner and I used to use location sharing pretty much 100% of the time. We just felt better knowing we could find each other.

But today, we do not, because the trust is shattered.

Google just cannot be trusted with our locations.

If my partner could check my location at any time, how would I keep bday and anniversary gifts secret? The places where I go to buy things for her are not places I would normally go. She only has to randomly check one time when I'm at an unusual location for her to ask why and then I have to lie. Not worth it.

We use temporary sharing (can limit to one hour) when meeting somewhere. Beyond that, it's a potential liability.

Example: she once got upset that I wanted to go to the mail room (apt building) alone and didn't want her to go with me. She wanted to know what I was hiding. Turned out to be her bday gift and it was just in the commercial packaging with a shipping label. I let her go get it and she's never been suspicious of my motives since (this was at the very start of our relationship and we hadn't established the level of trust that we have now).

Anyway, again, the one-hour sharing is all we need.

I can’t believe the number of people in here with paranoia and shitty relationships that can’t communicate with their “partner”

Me and my partner share locations. Never once have we done this. It's purely a logistical thing. 10x faster to check someone's location when you're supposed to meet them instead of testing them "wya".