I want a program that will digitize my brain and give me control over all the inputs and weights.
Free me from this accursed prison of flesh!!
this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2026
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A phone app that automatically accepts calls from suspected scam numbers, robocalls and unknown numbers and immediately mutes the mic, keeping the call going until the machine on the other side of the line disconnects and marks my number as non-working.
This has been how I've gone down from multiple spam calls a week to just a few a year. I'd really like to automate that.
A car that fixes itself like Christine. Without the murderous part, of course.
Sorry, the murderous part is part of the package. Every fix on mine requires a blood sacrifice (usually my own but I'm sorely tempted to just chuck a squirrel in there one of these days).
Is there any tool that makes it easy to host videos on my website and emulate the YouTube watching experience?
Like, people go to my website, watch the video in a player, then when it ends they get a few tiles either of other videos I have up, or recent videos from others I've approved? Maybe it just pulls links and thumbnails from specific RSS feeds I list somewhere on the backend?
The player is easy enough, it's the bandwidth of hosting video files that'll kill you. That's why YouTube took off in the first place, free third-party video hosting changed the entire game.
A peer-to-peer prediction market where instead of betting on forest fires, we bet on datacenter fires and mansion fires.
Who would bet against those fires in a platformike that?
This goes into the presently unrealistic, but I want a HUD that can display quests, tasks, inventory and health stats.
No, it's plausible
The unrealistic part is expecting the company (who has access to whatever information you use for your HUD stats) not to take greedy advantage of every tiny detail of your life to fill your HUD with ads and probably other nefarious shit
And for the HUD to not be AI-powered, since they'd also be too lazy to put real programming into it
I'd love an online-free version of that though. Huge one-time purchase, software runs entirely within hardware. That's the dream
Ya that's why I think it's presently unrealistic, because corporate greed would absolutely make it ad riddled garbage.
But AR and machine learning, so it can take my personal and work tasks/goals, things I purchase or otherwise acquire (like gifts, other free stuff, things bought outside a digitized marketplace), on hardware and heavily secured but otherwise able to access the Internet.
I essentially want a video game style HUD IRL. It would help so damn much with object impermanence and low functioning short term memory. Oh yeah, I forgot I had this thing or this side quest waiting, without having to manually track it.
Tried using a productivity suite for personal stuff a couple times and just swept it aside. Granted it would probably end up adding to notification fatigue anyways.
Some wizard tool I can download that will swap out Windows for a stable Linux distro, like Fedora or Debian.
Is that not what a live USB is?
I dunno about today but this existed for years and was called something like Goodbye Windows IIRC
An easy one I would do myself if I had more time. A calorie tracker that does not try to get you into a cult.
- The only time it accesses the internet is to update its on-board database.
- None of your data gets sent anywhere unless you choose to share it (for things like new foods).
- No suggestions.
- No exercise programs or tracking
- No sleep tracking.
- Tracks only what you want. Extras available through add-ons or something, but I don't care about tracking nutrients, fat, carbs, etc. so keep them out of my way.
- In short, follow the Unix guideline of an app doing one thing and doing it well.
If you run Android, check out "Energize" on fdroid.
If all you need is calories couldn't you just use any counter app for that? At that point you're just adding numbers in.
Waistline kind of works like that.
And I think there are a few self-hostable solutions out there.
An actual, healthy, good online social ecosystem. A place with deep quality conversation without bots, trolls, rage bait, misinformation, etc. Somewhere that felt like actual community.
I hear Lemmy is pretty good but I've never used it.
I am afraid that would only be possible if it's faked, with everyone else except you being a LLM
Or/and if almost every real user is shadow banned to other real users except bots
Real talk I'm surprised some tech bro hasn't made that yet. Like not hiding it, just fully branding it as an AI-first replacement for Reddit/Twitter.
The user could describe the type of content they want to see or "world event" they want their "community" to experience. Like a medival twitter, and have a political plot develop between two kingdoms and the human user's engagement on the thread can help sway public opinion on the subject leading to different narrative events.
With a world of 8 billion people, there are enough out there that would enjoy it...
Sadly that's a human problem that technology is hard-pressed to solve (if not impossible).
Nice try, open source developers who want to make the world a better place.
I was thinking more along the lines of someone who wants to be an open source developer but doesn't know how to do it so will just use AI to vibe code litterally the entire thing.
I just want something that'll chop the sponsored segment out of my podcasts. Can't be that hard. Every sponsor segment starts and ends with a standard jingle, so just have the software look for that opening and closing jingle and cut out whatever's in between, right?
Honestly considering vibe coding it because ads are the reason I don't listen to my podcasts anymore
One of my favorite uses for a a VPN is hearing podcast ads in a language I don't understand.
I’ve thought about that too. Then I feel guilty cutting out their revenue source. Then I realize that doesn’t matter. Then I realize that it’ll require also wrapping it in a whole-ass podcast app. But there could probably be a way to download episodes, run them through the ad filter, then host an rss feed of that list of files… that’s it, I’ll do it.
Automating it would be rad, but if I could even just plug the episodes I have into such a software and de-sponsor them in batches I'd be happy. I was caught up with Hey Riddle Riddle right up until their ads stopped being a set length. Now I gotta skip forward and backward until I find the end of the ad, and I simply stopped listening.
I download the podcasts I want to listen to, then host my own RSS so I can manage it better long-term.
Penis_enlargement.exe
If I could make that, I'd be rich. And have a big penis.
Masturbator/Dildo software that integrates with an EEG to scan your brain, know when you're about to cum, and then edge you over and over again.
Too difficult. Just gonna build a machine that gently zaps your brain's cum center continuously.
A proper file manager on Linux like Xyplorer or Directory Opus.
I've tried all the Debian based ones and none come even close
A program that uses modern language processing to let you play old or new text-based games without the annoyance of their clunky interface. Especially if it also worked with voice so you could play it as you do other menial tasks.
NOTE it would have to use minimal compute. No using Claude to do it all. Just focused AI in the language processing.
I've been messing around with decision models, I feel like they would be a pretty good fit for that because the only thing that would need to be done is choosing one of a finite set of commands and choosing its parameters also from a finite set of choices, which is what decision models are for, along with being very fast and having low system requirements.
Something like duolingo but for voice training specifically.
It's what I am working on at the moment as personal project but I don't have experience with meither microphones nor signal analysis.
A multimedia centre like Kodi or Jellyfin with the ability to schedule shows like it was a regular TV channel. With shows playing on their time slots, a random movie starting every day at ten.
There are times that I just want to turn on the TV and watch whatever is on without having to scroll through the entire library for something I could be in the mood for.
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An immortal worm that drains wealth from billionaires, launders it, and redistributes it as some kind of deus ex machina bonus to everyone else or to charities.
A software version of taxes!
I was going to add that if the government(s) do it we could call it "taxes"... but decided that brevity was more important :-)
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