this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2026
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Malaphors (lemmy.ca)
submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by eightys3v3n@lemmy.ca to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
 

I LOVE these. Funnier the longer I think about them. Almost serious or useful then just completely out of left field.

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This opens up a whole new bag of cats.

[–] DeepSeaHexapus@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My favorite is 'not the sharpest hammer in the kitchen.

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Works double because then they're a meat mallet

My favorites are "we'll jump off that bridge when we come to it." and "we don't want that loose cannon to rock the boat".

[–] sunnytimes@lemmy.ca 13 points 3 days ago

get two birds stoned

[–] coolie4@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

There's no use crying over fish in the sea.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I've definitely used the rocket surgery one

I think I've heard someone say the bridge burning one in person, but you could honestly mix up hearing that and the correct one because "we'll cross" is "ületame" and "we'll burn" is "põletame" in Estonian

[–] DoGeeseSeeGod@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 days ago

You can lead a man to water but you can't teach him to be a horse

[–] MalReynolds@piefed.social 18 points 3 days ago

Much fun, but IMO "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it" is a perfectly valid maxim (yes I'm aware of its roots). YMMV.

[–] Smeagol666@crazypeople.online 15 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I have a t-shirt that says "It's not rocket surgery" and depicts a surgeon working on a rocket with it's "guts" hanging out that are wires. I'm actually wearing it now, lol.

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What else are you wearing? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] GeekMan@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Haha. I actually had a computer programming professor in university who wore a shirt that said something like; "Actually; I am a rocket surgeon". He worked on rockets.

He taught us C. That was the funniest he ever was.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago

A bird in the hand, and you’ll never work a day in your life.

[–] don_kiedyck@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 days ago (5 children)

People who live in glass houses sink ships.

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[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

That's a whole different kettle of wax

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 18 points 3 days ago

You're barking up the wrong metaphor.

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

Not the sharpest bulb in the crayon shed

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 days ago

"She looks like she's been through the run of the mill..."

[–] Ertain@feddit.online 8 points 3 days ago

I love these. I have made some.

While you shouldn't sweat the small stuff, it's the details that make all the difference.

Variety may be the spice of life, too many cooks spoiled the broth.

Here's one I've heard. It was from someone's boss during a meeting:

C'mon, people, this is not rocket surgery!

[–] SarahValentine@pawb.social 13 points 3 days ago

Let water under the bridge lie where Jesus flung it.

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

I used to work at a used bookstore, and sometimes there were really excellent books that just wouldn't sell.

We would say "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him read."

[–] kalos08@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

I laughed. Thank you! "You've opened this can of worms, now lie in it" is my fav.

[–] stolig@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Fool me once is better than two in the bush

[–] craftrabbit@lemmy.zip 8 points 3 days ago

A German one:

Im Glashaus soll man nicht einen geschenkten Gaul werfen

[–] MelodiousFunk@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 days ago

This is where I'd link to !Malaphors@slrpnk.net but my home base will be in limbo for a while 😬

[–] Fmstrat@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

I use "not the sharpest brick in the tool shed" often.

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