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And no, please dont suggest homeless shelters, those are just unsafe and very demoralizing.

The very first thing I looked for (and forgive me for this, this is gonna be a controvertial one here) is the military, because thats just what lots of reddit threads mentioned, and like it would be an immediate exit from a toxic household, and yes, that would mean enduring an institution thats also kinda toxic, but thats only a few years and you're free, and its much more predictable. Except they dont accept anyone with depression and you have to prove you're "fine" for probably 36 months to even get a waiver. So that's crossed off as an option.

Jobcorps, well thats for low income families, and being a dependent means your parents income is what counts so i dont qualify

Americorps NCCC, well that seems seasonal and the next thing doesnt start till like months later (not sure if I'm even reading the website correctly)

Ngl I lowkey just thought of enlisting so once I finish that, next time we meet, I could stand in front of my toxic brother just staring at him menacingly, like whatcha gonna do, fight with an ex-soldier? Not to mention the prestiege of veteran status. And btw its only 1% thats acrually ever gonna face real combat so its not like WW1&2 trench warfare, its mostly just logistics, and like a civillian job, you'd be contributing to shareholder value anyways so there isnt really much of a "moral highground" either way, except working a retail job or some shit is very demoralizing but military has the reverance. And also

But anyways I'm not eligible anytime soon anyways. I doubt I'm even "manly" enough for it.

~~Bruh idk what to do really, you know that one movie, Parasite where like they work in a rich person's mansion and that shit. I'm not a fan of rich people but like I lowkey wanna like just "housesitter" and chill in some nice mansion with great views, and maybe even find secrets and become a movie plot.~~ (edit: okay this part I'm half joking, its more like a fantasy daydream of "I get to be in a movie plot" probably unrealistic for someone that never been in proximity of high wealth)

I'm in Philly, PA btw.

(Also should I pack light with just a backpack and just one or two change of clothes and laundry often or just carry every clothing I could fit in a suitcase?)

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 29 minutes ago

look at getting a job on a shipping barge if you can. there's all sorts of support staff like medics, cooks, IT, etc, that work on barges. you'll get to travel around the world, "free" room and board, and you're paid quite well since you can't leave once you're on deck.

[–] FRYD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 hour ago

Postal service is a bit of a slower option. It takes at most, two years of part time work to get a full time job, but that full time job can afford rent in cheaper areas and you can transfer anywhere in the country with no pay cut.

[–] NotAnOtter@lemmus.org 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Ok I know this really isn't what you're after, but have you considered taking 6 months to hike a long distance trail such as the AT or PCT? It only costs a few thousand for all the gear and permits and gets you out on your own for a good many months. Along the way you will develop survival and social skills which may find you in a better paying job. And for your dickhead brother, you could brag about that journey.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 1 points 35 minutes ago (1 children)

A few thousand? I bet you could cut it down a lot more than that.In good weather, you just need a tarp to keep dry in the rain. You just really need food, and armies used to march on hard tack for months. Bring some multivitamins and some protein source (peanuts?) and I think you'd probably be ok? [Source: Thinking but not doing, feel free to correct.]

And if you're just avoiding reality, you don't need to travel 20 miles a day, so you don't need expensive boots, doubly so if you're travelling light.

[–] NotAnOtter@lemmus.org 1 points 29 minutes ago (1 children)

I mean, in theory, I think you're right. But while a $200 build out is possible & miserable, a $2000 build out can be something actually enjoyable.

Also, you should always keep some escape money in case you get injured and need a hotel for a night or two. Even for things like hard tack, while technically possible I guess, you would still need some mechanism to make hard tack at scale. I would not encourage this option for people that aren't able to dedicate $3k-$5k for all gear/food/permits/hotels/etc.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 1 points 21 minutes ago* (last edited 11 minutes ago) (1 children)

Hard tack is just flour mixed with water baked into an oven until it's dry. Easy enough to make at home, but you'd have to carry it, and if you wanted to make it on the trail, you'd have to carry a pan and the flour and the water and hope you can get some firewood.

I still think your $2,000 price point is past the point of comfort and into luxury for fair weather camping, but I haven't priced anything out in a while. I think I got a decent pack for $200, boots for $150, bag for about $100, tent $300. Water filter. I don't want to bother with cooking, so I never bought any cooking equipment.

And if you're just trying to get out of a depressing and abusive household, holing up in a tent with a book until the rain ends is an improvement; dang, I do want some rain gear, though.

What are these permits? When I was looking into the AT, there were designated camping areas which maybe you could reserve or occupy, but there were stretches of trail which were just designated as "go ahead and camp anywhere around here."

[–] NotAnOtter@lemmus.org 1 points 11 minutes ago

For a few regions such a smoky mountains you need permits ($30-$60 depending on region, but you need a few for the entire journey)

The main category you're missing is just food & fuel. Even for just hardtack (which is in the 'survival' range not 'comfort'), 3000 calories of flour costs about $1 according to google. Across 6 months on the trail that's $180 for the flour, plus another $200+ for the fuel. But more realistically you will want some fruits and veggies and meats and so on. Which pumps it up to $1k for the trip even while also eating a lot of hard tack.

[–] g8phcon2@k.fe.derate.me 2 points 1 hour ago

Except they don't accept anyone with depression, and you have to prove you're "fine" for probably 36 months to even get a waiver.

Seeing how many soldiers commit suicide, 36 months might be too short to waiver out depressed service members. https://www.bu.edu/articles/2024/suicide-now-the-primary-cause-of-death-among-active-duty-us-soldiers/

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 53 minutes ago (1 children)

can you take some community college and are you ok with blood. phlebotomy is one course and you can make above minimum wage within a thing that limits the applicant pool. if you take a few more courses they will generally pay you a bit better and you could use that as a springboard toward nursing.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 1 points 49 minutes ago (1 children)

CNA school is also usually only 3 months but is pretty physically intensive and you're stuck with the same patients for the whole shift which sucks if they're unpleasant.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 44 minutes ago* (last edited 38 minutes ago)

yeah this guy wants to get out of the house fast though. there is enough demand and it has a nice ability to keep on expanding if you can handle whats needed for each degree level.

[–] Mantzy81@aussie.zone 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

From reading your responses, I don't think you should concentrate on moving out. Take the opportunities your privilege allows (e.g. having shelter and food) to work on yourself from that safe location. I would go to therapy and discover why youre feeling like this and in the meantime, do some work in a store or something. It's menial, sure, but it's something. If you feel like it, you can give your folks some money to feel like you're contributing.

[–] WongKaKui@piefed.ca 1 points 1 hour ago (3 children)

I did therapy with 2 separate people, one was a 1st-gen Mandarin speaking lady with a weird accent (for context I'm also ethnically Chinese), another was a white male. Neither helped.

I had medications from a General Practitioner, Lexapro and Sertraline or something. And then later Wellbutrin/Buproprion combined with Hydroxyzine for sleep and anxiety. Nothing really helped but the hydroxyzine did suppress anxiety for a bit but it also makes me tired af and kinda brainfog.

So I just ghosted them and stopped taking the medications.

I think people in Philly, and perhaps most big cities, have this weird attitude against their "paitients" (aka people they wanna milk money from)

And no giving them money wouldnt feel like contributing. Commingling of assets and then they would only tell you how much they "love" your and "omg we sacrafises so much", and any money you give them would only be repaying a debt that you'll never be able to finish paying, the debt of my birthmother giving birth to me and raising me for 18+ years. So... my desire was a clear boundary, both financially and physically. Even just for a a few months to maybe 2 years (and maybe beyond that)

Like I dont mind using their house as a temporty stop in between different seasonal gigs or something, but i dont wanna stay for long. I want a "safe space" that no parent, no sibling, no drugaddicts or burglars, would be able to breach into.

[–] Mantzy81@aussie.zone 1 points 23 minutes ago

Any seasonal picking jobs you could donin the local area. Maybe getting outside and doing some work under the sun might help too.

Look, life is an ongoing struggle to find the thing that is right for you. Even then it will always be a compromise you make with yourself. You have only tried 2 therapists. That isn't enough. Maybe you get lucky with your first but if one isn't working for you, you try someone else. You might find a different kind of therapy works better for you but you need to try. Look into Better Help and see if you can get a match on a therapist that would suit your needs more. But please, go back to therapy. For you.

I could say almost the same thing about your meds too. You need a better prescription - talk to your GP about how your current meds make you feel and you can both tailor it to what you need.

Work on yourself mentally before you do anything else. It is your foundation. You can't run away from your mind, it comes with you so it's best to get it sorted out first. The fact you acknowledge you have some issues in that area is great - you know there's a problem and that's a major first step on your road to success. But you need support, and there's no need to make the future harder by removing some of the support network you currently have.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 2 points 42 minutes ago* (last edited 41 minutes ago)

If you're fluent in both get an interpreter certification. In healthcare and probably some other high reliability industries we're not yet at the point where TTS / STT and ai translation can fully interpret yet. Specialty languages like Mandarin take a long time to connect so there's probably a shortage (I know it's got the most speakers worldwide, but the most common 2nd language in the US is Spanish). It's also a telework job, it's almost entirely done by phone / video call these days. You might need to brush up on medical terminology specifically and the finer points of exact translation but if you already know the language that's probably not a huge leap. I'm thinking that's going to get automated in the next 5-10 years but it should get you out nowish which sounds like the goal.

[–] g8phcon2@k.fe.derate.me 2 points 1 hour ago

Do you speak Mandarin? Doesn't China have some kind of program for "re-immigration" of people of Chinese descent? I recall reading articles about young adult unemployment being even worse there, but that may have been focused only on college grads looking for college level work, rather than a strong young body willing to work a factory and stay in company housing.

[–] BobLunch@lemmy.today 8 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Have you looked into working with the National Parks? A lot of their entry level positions only require a HS level education, and many parks offer employee housing. I've heard it's quite competitive (both for jobs and for housing) but it's still worth considering. State parks, DNR, BLM, etc. might be an option too depending on where you live.

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 2 points 1 hour ago

You could enroll in college and get loans to pay for a dorm, but 2weeks is short notice and a degree is no guarantee of success. They can definitely help though, and it's good to have a well rounded education not to mention networking opportunities.

If you don't have to move out, consider staying though. You could always start with a community college or trade school while you stay.

[–] baahb@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (5 children)

Dunno how to give you advice. "Want out immediately, but not so immediately as to be homeless" and "military is kinda appealing, but there might be a waitlist if you have depression." And "I dont want to do demeaning minimum wage jobs" all kinda conflict with one another. Also, the fuck you worrying about prestige for? That's ridiculous, either get in the house or get out. Prestige ain't got shit to do with it.

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[–] chunes@lemmy.world 13 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (2 children)

You could look into WWOOFing. Basically participating owners of small farms provide you 3 meals a day and a place to sleep in return for helping out about half of every day. Seems like a decent option until you can get your feet under you, and would afford you enough time (the second half of the day) to figure that out.

Granted, in the winter you'll have fewer options (animals and greenhouses mostly).

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[–] justdaveisfine@piefed.social 4 points 3 hours ago

If you're handy, some apartment/condos offer a discount on living at the location while you work there, such as doing maintenance or groundskeeping or such.

Doing maintenance isn't a glamorous job, and you'd likely be on call, but its a living and does have some career progression.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

At this point, the question isn't if the military will take you w/ a history of depression, but whether they a would put you in a situation where you'd want to kill yourself.

I'd say if you're in a hurry, retail while you live in a car until you can find a roommate situation. While you're in your car, apply for homeless assistance, and you might land a private room in a shelter eventually, which is way cooler than the open barracks of emergency shelters.

[–] mrmaplebar@fedia.io 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah... I had a friend in highschool who went down the path of not knowing what to do with himself, enlisting in the military, and ultimately ending his own life. I only found out years later so I'm not sure of the circumstances that lead him to it, or even if his time in the army contributed to his feelings. But it's very sad, either way.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

Yeah, I imagine a lot of lost people would turn to the military and I doubt it's a good environment for people with mentla health issues, given how many people come out of it with PTSD.

[–] WongKaKui@piefed.ca 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I dont own a car

I have access to cars, but those are my parents, its not like they're gonna let me have one, they need it for work and transporting tools and stuff, so I might be able to borrow them temporary at most.

But I dont have a drivers license

[–] g8phcon2@k.fe.derate.me 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Why don't you have a driver's license? I suspect there are some bigger issues at play here.

[–] WongKaKui@piefed.ca 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Um... I never got one. 👀

Just the um "yeah I'mma get a drivers license some day"...

a few years later

...

[–] fancy-straw-simple@piefed.ca -1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Not that I want to be that guy, but you might want to look in that mirror and check out the laziness thing.

[–] WongKaKui@piefed.ca 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

So what do I do. Ask my parents money for driving lessons. Lmfao, "just ask dad to teach you" then he never has time.

But I cannot get a learners permit because PA is so stupid and requires a medical exam for a fucking drivers license and the doctor never signed off on it. Because of the fucking depression. So I guess I could drive without a license, like who cares about laws really.

I mean maybe I just dont belong in this world honestly. So much shit going on.

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