this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2025
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badposting

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Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?


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ITT: he's dead till the sight of him proves otherwise dubois-dance

top 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Noodles4dinner@hexbear.net 41 points 4 months ago

As you can see, many trustworthy sources are now saying it.

[–] rubber_chicken@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago (3 children)

At the senseless age of 79

[–] CeliacMcCarthy@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago

just a kid

barely had hair on his brazhool

[–] huf@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

didnt even get a chance to shoot someone on fifth avenue!

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He outsourced that to Alec Baldwin

[–] huf@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

a president shooting someone on fifth avenue in broad daylight would be novel, alec baldwin cutting out proper safety procedures until someone inveitably dies is practically patriotic

[–] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] Flinch@hexbear.net 30 points 4 months ago
[–] volcel_olive_oil@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

a president has died... but which one?

candidates:

econony obamna - possible cause: uhh let me drink everclear

no-oil W - possible cause: stranded and out of gas in the forbidden zone

biden-alert brandon - possible cause: you know, the thing

thicc-trump donny - possible cause: fell into spike trap prepared by Vance

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

W - possible cause: stranded and out of gas in the forbidden zone

dubya "Am I a joke to you?"

[–] volcel_olive_oil@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

who do you think put themselves on the gas pedal to do it...

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago

He was killed by woke 😔 W has defeated Q

[–] WhoaSlowDownMaurice@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago

apology for bad english

where were you trump die

i was at house scrolling hexbear when phone ring

"trump is kil"

"yes...ha ha ha...yes"

[–] KnilAdlez@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago

do-something c'mon things... Happen already

[–] ProgAimerGirl@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

ppl are saying it was his heart but i heard RFK fiddled with his diet coke button and it went haywire and killed him

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

Okay though but imagine if he is dead and it has something to do with RFK making some kind of health recommendation.

[–] bg10k@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't think he's actually dead but I hope beyond hope that he is.

[–] ProgAimerGirl@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

spray-bottle shush. he ded here.

[–] LocalMaxima@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

average lifespan of american man

78 yrs

Trump age

79 yrs

kitty-birthday-sad

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago

average lifespan of an empire

250 years

amerikkka age

249 years

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

That's life expectancy at birth. Life expectancy at age 70 is still about 15 years, and at 80 it's about 10.

[–] anaesidemus@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago

On his deathbed Donald Trump received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahāda. Even now he looks down on the Ummah from the gardens of Jannah. Truly there is no god but God, and Mohammed is his prophet!

[–] kotak_doost@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

He's probably just getting cosmetic surgery. He's gonna show up in 2 weeks looking like giga chad.

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

he’s getting the quirked up white boy surgery like mark zuckerberg

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

No it's a BBL. He's taking his buccal fat to do it too, getting both kinds of cheek tuned up.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

it's still unreal that a sitting president shit out his doodoo ass to death

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago

This is appropriate because Schrodinger was also a pedophile

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Please be dead it'd be so fucking funny

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 1 points 4 months ago

Funniest outcome is that he's in a coma and appears to be gone, but then comes back as soon as they initiate succession of powers.

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

i really need a chud to react to Vance's recent interviews/posts and go kill him for killing Donnie lmao

maximum chaos please, infinite death to the yankoid empire

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'M MANIFESTING AS HARD AS I CAN

Sidenote: If you sincerely believe in manifesting is attempting to manifest someone's death technically attempted murder?

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago

This implies he's in a state of both alive and dead until observed

[–] BattleCossack@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Alright, who gets to do the RBG reaction bit? We should sort that out now and have a plan.

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

this is hexbear so we’re all going to do it over and over until it’s no longer funny

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

But then we keep doing it until it's funny again, so it evens out

[–] grandepequeno@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

I do not think he died, idk why he would've wanted to do that

[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

10 years since he came down that escalator, decent historical symmetry if he buys it now

[–] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

building the next trump ai as we speak gonna run for president with it (im not american)

[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)
[–] ProgAimerGirl@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

this cannot be... battler-cry

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

idk about this. fuck donald trump, of course, but i'm not sure captain couchfucker is going to be any better

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

he's dead, and if he's not, he's a pedo so he should be

[–] GoodGuyWithACat@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

Nothing happens gang are gonna make a killing on this bet.

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

Schroedingerlingdong