Doritos, This much flavor should be illegal.
You're welcome lays, I'll take $200k for the idea.
this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2025
338 points (99.1% liked)
Not The Onion
18430 readers
1542 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
In 2021, writer and game designer Alex Blechman inadvertently created a meme:
Sci-Fi Author: "In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale."
Tech Company: "At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus!"
AI is a big component of the new and improved Torment Nexus which is coming along nicely.
Shows the importance of having a human in the loop.
And since the police vetted the image properly they shouldn't be afraid of publishing it, right?
I should be shocked that eight cops looked at a picture of a black kid holding a bag of doritos in his hand and agreed that it was a gun. why am I not shocked?
It was in his pocket, the pocket bulge was picked up as a probable gun.
I’m not convinced they looked at anything. The AI sounded the alert and they peeled rubber.
Minority report
"The AI gave just us go-ahead, boys. Open fire!"
That's unironically already been happening in Gaza for years now, and will now happen everywhere Palantir is used.
I am shocked that (thankfully) they didn't shoot him.
Its cops. They just saw a black kid and figured they could plant a dime bag or a toy train after the fact.
You see to the untrained ear Choo Choo sounds like shoot! shoot!
They probably just trusted the AI. Like everyone else is doing for some reason.
Omnilert later admitted the incident was a “false positive” but claimed the system “functioned as intended,” saying its purpose is to “prioritize safety and awareness through rapid human verification.”
What?? How is it prioritizing safety if it did exactly the opposite and created an unsafe environment (a bunch of US cops with guns pointed at teens)?
That was the quote I was about to paste, like what the actual fuck? Traumatizing innocent teens is functioning as intended eh? Wonder how many of our tax dollars is going towards this? Actually I probably don't want to know...
Black kids aren't supposed to feel safe. Safety is for everyone else.
... Why did dexerto file this under "Entertainment"
Arguably it is hilariously stupid.
I, and most everyone I know, would 100% be crumpling up chip bags into vague shapes of guns and making it a pain in the ass for them to keep checking.
Essentially this AI is a racist markov chain that can be simplified:
Skin colour = dark -> something in his hand = true -> result = A WEAPON A WEAPON!!!
It is doing good work replacing the police's job of racially profiling minorities. Very efficient.
It wasn't even in his hand.
The crumpled Doritos bag in his pocket had been mistaken for a gun.
This was a good kid who crumbled up the bag and stuck it in his pocket instead of littering, and he gets traumatized by a bunch of cops for it. Hell, he could have lost his life if an acorn had fallen at the wrong moment.
Ah okay.
In protest, everyone in that school should walk around with rulers, wrappers, bottles and other things sticking out of their pockets to trigger the system.
For fucks sake in 2002 I and all the other FFA kids went to school with knives and/or multitools clipped to our belts.
Don't worry guys, they're only putting these AI cameras in literally every city and doing it in shady ways without anyone knowing. And false flags like this happen very frequently.
Look out! He's got a whole bag full of ninja throwing triangles!
Student afraid to return to school after AI sends police after him
that is quite a 21st century title
The Doritos apocalypse has begun. I new this day would come.
Purple master race! All blue and red lovers need to be purged! This is WAR, pick a side.
I mean the ARE pretty spicy. /s Sez the guy who just started a batch of habanero hot sauce. smh
I once mistook a bag of Doritos for the president of the USA…no, wait…it was a bag of Cheetos…wait, no, actually it was one Cheeto, one GIGANTIC Cheeto (I think?!)
Pretty sure that's just feces - don't let the color fool you.
Have they said sorry once?
finally an article whose text is just as oniony
Is this ..... Harassment?
A false positive is better then a false negative. The best would be to kill the gun culture so we don't have to have AI in school, making sure 16 year olds aren't carrying weapons (only nation where we have this stupid problem).
Yeah, I'm kinda surprised by the downvotes. I'd rather no guns but if I had to choose between the system missing one and spotting one incorrectly, I'm pretty sure I lean to the false positive.