this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
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[–] stermy4u@lemmy.world 125 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Suddenly, conservatives are for a shorter work week.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Nah, they'll just replace everyone with AI & robots. People will be stressed, but it won't be from work - problem solved!

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can’t they just hire gay people in the first place? Can’t turn gay if you’re already gay.

Or maybe working hard could make you super gay… or straight? I don’t know how this works.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think it's a bit like the horseshoe theory in politics where the far left and far right agree on some of the same things.

So once you're super gay, you get to fuck super straight guys. That would explain why all these anti-gay politicians keep getting caught banging dudes in airport bathrooms.

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It all makes sense now. When you max out your straightness value, but keep on pushing, you cause an integer overflow. That’s a sneaky way to end up being super gay.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Exactly! It's like Ghandi in Civilization.

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[–] charonn0@startrek.website 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I'm not gay, I'm overworked."

-That guy

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Right before putting the cock back in his mouth.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can think of a couple of different motivations for this.

He's trying to get ahead of a leak that he's gay.

He's trying to help reduce pressure from employers, in a very odd way.

I'm going with the first one, because people in power don't give a fuck about anyone else.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Option 3: Look what you made him do.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wouldn't that mean like at least half the world would be gay? Where TF do these idiots come up with this shit?

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago

Shut up! I don't want to keep working so much!

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

half the world

Sounds like meat is back on the menu 😏

[–] NOPper@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 1 month ago

I'm calling in gay tomorrow and citing a world leader.

[–] Alterecho@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago

saying this while holding one of the most stressful jobs in the world is such a crazy way to come out but pop off king

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

"I need to suck off a twink to deal with all this stress."

[–] nehal3m@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jee, I really feel like sucking dick today boss, it’s time I took a few days off.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 7 points 1 month ago

it’s time I took a few days off

... to suck some dick.

[–] itsathursday@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Someone’s got a case of the Malaygays

[–] AmyAye@nord.pub 17 points 1 month ago

Finally bigotry I can support.

[–] Mediocre_Bard_Redeux@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

excessive job stress, social pressure, past sexual experiences, and weak religious practice

Yeah, having past sexual experiences with a same-sex partner will do that.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Being gay in the past is strongly correlated to being gay in the present!

[–] username123@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

Correlation isn’t causation

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I feel a little bit gay already, better take the rest of the day off.

[–] minus@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is way too real.

I Felt a Little Homosexual Today, So I Called in Sick: The Formation of “Reverse Discourse” by Swedish Gay Activists in the 1970s“

This article revolves around the legal and epistemic battles around “homosexuality” in Sweden in 1979, which led to the abolition of homosexuality being classified as a “disease”. Among other things, gay activists “called in sick” to the Social Insurance Agency (SIA) and claimed that they were unable to work because they were homosexuals (read as mentally disordered).

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13600826.2022.2052025

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[–] Mediocre_Bard_Redeux@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

That dude looks stressed as fuck.

[–] Muscle_Meteor@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] TammyTobacco@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

10/10 Perfect comment.

[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well yeah, obviously. Work stress is alleviated by more money, and $20 bucks is $20 bucks.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Omg, I honestly didn't see that coming, well done.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I hate my coworkers so much I want to suck all their dicks. I'm not gay, but damn, I feel like the only relief I can get is if they relieve themselves... in my mouth. And my throat. And maybe my butt... but I need to get these stress related hemorrhoids checked first. Shit, I forgot, I don't have healthcare. Now I have to suck some nurse dick. It's gonna be a long weekend. Maybe if I get everyone together in the same room we can get it all over at once. Just... not in my eyes, please.

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He's right though, there i am, working my ass off, deadlines that fall behind and people running left and rightto catch the post-truck with that last minute delivery for the day, and all of a sudden, there we both stand, exhausted, over worked, and just start to furiously make out.

It's a real problem. And i for one am glad someone is taking this with the seriousness it deserves.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What country was it that had people calling in gay to work because their government classified it as an illness, again? 🤔

[–] Zier@fedia.io 9 points 1 month ago

So basically, most of the world is gay? Cool.

[–] Lamplighter@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Working hard or hardly working, eh?

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I'm like, super stressed you guys. Frankly, if you want me to straighten out, we probably all ought to revert to a 32 hour work week, better yet, 24 with full time pay. That ought to sploosh relief right into me. Us. It's science!

[–] abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago

The response to that is "If that is the case, why aren't you sucking dick?"

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Shill account for townflex dot com

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Fuck man, I must be one of the gayest people on earth then. Get it? Fuck man? Hahaha.... I'm sorry.

[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

fuck, didn't even know it. i'm gay now since I've had some stress at work

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Wanna 69? I've been working a lot of overtime lately.

[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

Luckily, we don't have elected representatives with this type of reasoning skill......... /s

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Anything to get out of work huh. Sounds weird to get 3-4 day work week.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

"We've changed our minds , no more layoffs... Now is the time for lay ONS!!!! And instead of 'line goes up' another thing goes up now and it has... Infinite growth"

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