this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] measureyoucanpleasure@piefed.social 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 hours ago

Thanks 🍈🍈

I actually did a little more in depth boasting here a month or two ago.

[–] ScarlettStunningSpace@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)
[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

Me too. I have no earthly idea on how it "blew up" like this. 🀣🩷

[–] HaraldvonBlauzahn@feddit.org 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Indoctrinate the spider that it will catch many more bugs by using AI tools, and then let it pay.

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I cannot be held responsible for when it eventually falls into spider AI psychosis.

[–] HaraldvonBlauzahn@feddit.org 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Even more gain! Do you know what prozac does cost? Its family will need to pay the pharmacy bills if it doesn't want their loved one ending up homeless.

You're evil and I don't hate it.

[–] alt_xa_23@midwest.social 23 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

Looks like you found yourself a network debugger

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 13 points 7 hours ago

I was going to say web admin but yours is good too.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

Came here to say this. Thank you for making my job easier!

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 8 hours ago

OKAY. I thought all the funny responses were already exhausted xD <3

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 10 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Its already a work in place of rent situation. I have tenants with similar contract in my kitchen window, my shower ceiling, the storage/work room window, and the one that doesn't follow the rules in the front entrance arch who is likely to be evicted.

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 hours ago

I see. But, all in all, a quite decent customer/tenant base! :D

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 17 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

It gets to keep 25% of the bugs he catches. You get to eat the other 75%.

Any changes to the web will void it's deposit and you get to eat 500 of it's bugs to repair any damage.

Utilities are not included. There will be a 5 bug charge for each droplet of water it drinks from the faucet. Even though it lives near WiFi, there is a hookup fee and monthly cost of 25 bugs.

If it is late on monthly bug payments for more that 1-week. You get to eat it's web and all the bugs. The spider will be taken outside on a paper towel or in a cup and left on the nearest leaf.

Implement those and you'll eat like a king!

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 8 hours ago

I died xD

But...

I'm affraid he'll try to circumvent my espionage with some spidey encryption... No idea how to counter that. :/

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 33 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

His pest removal services are worth nothing? You're already bartering.

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 15 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Shoot! I had completely forgotten about that! Well, I'm convinced. They can stay rent free! :D

[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 14 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

By avoiding being a capitalist landlord, you have become a feudalist landlord.

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 10 points 9 hours ago

Except this is entirely on the spider's terms. Land is given but there's no quota, no tax. The spider may come and go as he pleases and only needs to catch enough pests to feed himself.

[–] MasterOKhan@lemmy.ca 71 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Seems to be a hard working web developer, surely he can pay his rent

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 27 points 12 hours ago

Developing the web and catching bugs, sounds like they're earning their keep

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago

No doubt! I should be thankful!

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 28 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

You've considered a capitalist solution, but have you considered

Restorative justice: the spider is a trespasser, but will likely not find enough prey to survive. Capture the spider and relocate it to a suitable habitat where it can thrive. Check on it occasionally to ensure it is doing well

Libertarian anarchism: leave it be. It will die, survive, or thrive on its own terms

Authoritarianism: tell the spider if it doesn't remove itself it will be arrested, start ordering it to get on the ground, fire 13 rounds at it, preferably missing all shots but hitting a nearby toddler. Institute martial law against the "foreign threat", citing the recent death of a toddler

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 9 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

House spiders generally don’t survive outdoors. They’re cave-dwelling species and they seek out indoor spaces by instinct.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 6 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

This is a very good point. In rebuttal

A. I did say "a suitable habitat"

B. I was very clearly shitposting

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Sure, though my comment wasn’t strictly a rebuttal to yours. It was as much an FYI to anyone who stumbled across our comments and has relocated spiders outside out of a desire to save them.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I'm glad you posted your original comment. I tend to be pretty tongue-in-cheek, both online and IRL. Sorry if it comes off as abrasive, in my mind it's all in good fun. Love you and hope you have a fantastic day <3

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

No worries! People can be both amused and informed!

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

This little heartfelt, wholesome back and forth between you two was exactly the medicine that I needed to calm my nerves after I unintentionally started what seems to have become the shitstorm of the ages over at linux@lemmy.ml . May all the spiders of the universe have mercy on my soul.

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 10 hours ago

SirSamuel, you enlightened bastard! You don't know how much I needed this laugh.

Also, I decided to go the pre-Marxist socialist route: the spider is allowed to stay and to contribute according to its abilities and shall be compensated according to its contributions in the pest elimination field.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 8 points 9 hours ago (5 children)

rent? it’s keeping your house pest free… you owe it money

(also obligatory that’s not a spider THIS is a spider from australia)

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

I went here to tempt fate. Jesus Christ. If it's any one of these living in my access point, I don't know... Would a Norwegian reboot kill it?

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 4 points 8 hours ago

The problem with the implicit size comparison in the Crocodile Dundee reference is that Australian spider size is inversely proportional to their actual danger.

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[–] Digit@lemmy.today 22 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

impose rent?

but...

it's already working for you, setting up traps for flies.

bloody capitalists... always short-sightedly, myopically, trying to maximise wealth extraction.

[–] ExtremeDullard@piefed.social 17 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Threaten it to call immigration if it doesn't pay up.

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[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 10 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Keeping the computer bugs at bay

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago

True. Fully automated out of the box too! Like, no scripting, no broken config files, whathaveyou.

[–] Monument@piefed.world 8 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

She’s just trying to crawl the web!

[–] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago

I'm afraid of what she might scrape while crawling.

[–] blinfabian@feddit.nl 6 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

am i crazy or is there no spider in this photo??

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