this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] usethefakinterminal@lemmy.world 11 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

I don't really get why everything need to be IOT nowadays.

I've read that the coffee machine use internet for being used remotely to get your coffee ready at the time you want it. Bro, it takes 15 minutes to use it directly.

If you want your coffee ready for an exact time, why not adding a simple as f$ck clock to the machine and set the clock for the especific time when you want it to make your coffee?

I admit that some things are pretty useful with IOT, but not a coffee machine bro, wtf?

[–] krakloskewm@lemmy.zip 8 points 16 hours ago

Any "smart" appliance is an instant no-buy for me

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 1 points 15 hours ago

If the clock is so simple why do I need to run the File System Security Check on it?

[–] lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world 18 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Anyone stupid enough to connect a coffee machine to the internet deserves a coffee machine that is connected to the internet.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 3 points 15 hours ago

new house, microwave. WIFI option

FUCK NO

Settings->clock->time->manual

DONE

day 2, huh it's one minute slow. I must have not payed enough attention when setting it.

day 3, umm now it's two minutes slow.

day4, three minutes slow.

It's an $1800 microwave/oven combo that came with the house, there's no way the warranty will cover a slow clock

OK, FUCK, isolation network, NTP only,

Nope, no TCP, no time.

!@#!%!%#$%

Fine, have internet, I hope you choke on it. Isolation still at least.

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Y'all know the first ever IOT device was a coffee maker right?

HTTP Status 418: I'm a teapot was added way back in 1998 as part of the Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Wasn't it a live view of the coffee pot so people could know if it was full or empty?

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Technically internet connected though

Edit: Though it turns out no, the standard was developed (as an April Fool's) but never implemented. But later folks have done multiple implementations of it, ranging from temperature detection to automated button pressing and coffee monitoring

[–] capital5@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

wtf are you torrenting now, coffee pot???

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

Smegma porn from jauffre

[–] dorumon@lemmy.cafe 8 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Coffee is so cheap and easy to make I have made it several times without even using a coffee maker.

Was it good? Fuck no. Honestly it was probably pretentious as hell.

Was it coffee? Yeah it was pretty good in that regard.

But honestly who needs a thing that will torrent a terabyte of data from your internet? Especially in the day and age where Americans have data caps unlike the rest of the world. I cannot imagine suddenly being hit with nonsense fees because your coffee pot decided that it needed to scrape the entire internet or something stupid like that.

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

You need some bad coffee every once and a while do you don't feel bad for putting your dick in the pot.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 1 points 15 hours ago

Ok Look, there's an update! Download Update! 85, ^H^H6,^H^H7, OUT OF SPACE DELETE TEMP Ok Look, there's an update! Download Update!

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 1 points 15 hours ago

Twist, it was a non-smart mr coffee.

/s

[–] lemming741@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

I've seen multicast amplification bugs flood an AP like that

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (3 children)

This article is extremely short, misleading, and ultimately pointless.

The owner of the coffee machine was unable to determine why it had generated approximately 1 TB of network traffic in just 10 days. However, the data reportedly remained within his own Wi-Fi network and was never transmitted over the internet. The owner himself acknowledged that it was likely some kind of error, software malfunction, or defective unit.

More importantly, he admitted that he never investigated the issue further. Instead, he simply unplugged the machine and replaced it rather than attempting to determine what was actually happening.

So what, exactly, does this article accomplish? It provides no technical explanation, identifies no underlying cause, and offers no evidence that the manufacturer was collecting, transmitting, or doing anything nefarious with the data. It presents an unexplained technical anomaly and leaves the reader to draw their own conclusions.

The implication is obvious: look at how much data this coffee machine is generating! What could the manufacturer possibly be doing with all that information? The article encourages suspicion without providing the evidence necessary to justify it.

And the irony is that the sheer volume of traffic makes the most sensational interpretation less plausible, not more. One terabyte of data in 10 days is an extraordinary amount for a coffee machine. Without knowing what the traffic consisted of, the most reasonable starting point is a software bug, a malfunctioning device, or some other technical error, not a manufacturer secretly harvesting an unprecedented amount of information about someone's coffee-drinking habits.

Could there be a legitimate privacy concern? Certainly. But establishing one requires examining the traffic, identifying its destination, determining what information was being exchanged, and explaining why. None of that appears to have happened here.

Instead, we are left with an unexplained anomaly, an owner who chose not to investigate it, and an article that invites readers to fill in the blanks with their own conspiracy theories.

If the goal was to inform readers about the privacy risks of connected appliances, the author had an opportunity to do so. Instead, the article generates suspicion without generating any meaningful understanding.

That is the real problem with this kind of reporting: it teaches people to be afraid of technology without teaching them how to evaluate the evidence. There is a legitimate conversation to be had about connected devices, data collection, and consumer privacy. Stories like this do little to advance it.

[–] Shindo66@lemmy.world 6 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Look at you mr fancy pants, coming in here with rational thoughts. "Maybe they could have actually done real reporting bla bla bla." We all know what you are. Youre just trying to cover up for the real culprits: the high fructose corn syrup industry trying to find out what we put in our coffee. Youre type make me sick.

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

Dude it's not even that like it took me significantly more words to explain how bad the article is and how long the actual article is.

And people aren't going to actually read the article they're just going to look at the title and be like oh my God conspiracies!

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

As usual, the voice of facts and reason is in the minority. Almost everybody else is off on tangents.

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

Look at this guy righting complete sentences

[–] itisileclerk@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Why net connection for coffee machine, to download recepie for coffee?

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 7 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 15 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

You wouldn't download a bean

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago

Is that slang for lesbian porn?

[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I've downloaded some pretty good bean flicking videos.

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

I cum to them

~the FBI

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

You spelled racipe wrong

[–] db2@lemmy.world 49 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He found that while the coffee maker had generated 1TB of traffic, most of it stayed within his parents’ home network rather than being sent over the internet.

“This is likely a bug with this unit,” he explained. “It did saturate my AP, that sucked.”

In simpler terms, the coffee maker was generating so much traffic that it overwhelmed part of the home Wi-Fi setup.

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[–] scrodumb@lemmy.ca 66 points 1 day ago (15 children)

Why give it the wifi password on the first place?

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago

You're trying to hook up, y'know? These things happen at a certain point in a boys life.

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