this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2026
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[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 32 points 10 hours ago
[–] ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world 40 points 13 hours ago

“There was something futile and sad about trying to find someone responsible at all costs, following a purely accidental death.“

This was purely a case of litigation because they were a billionaire.

The “unlicensed” surgeon? Had an Algerian degree, which was a French colony, that’s just racism.

They were clearly just throwing charges at them until something stuck, presumably at the rich inheritor’s request.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 58 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (2 children)

Number one. Steady hand. One day, billionaire need big penis. I do operation. But mistake! Billionaire die! Capitalists very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.

My big secret. I kill billionaire on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!

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[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 29 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I always thought that autoerotic asphyxiation was the gold standard comedic way for billionaires to die. I was wrong.

The thought of this wealthy pencil dick chasing what I have and dying in the process is hilarious.

I guess envy really is a deadly sin.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 66 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Lol. Lmao. Dude had billions of dollars and fucken died cause he wanted a bigger dick.

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 28 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

To all the kids out there: accept who you are. Love yourself. Be genuine.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 45 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

To all the billionaires out there, keep getting shady, life-threatening surgeries.

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 24 points 14 hours ago (5 children)

To all the billionaires out there: people will never respect you until you have 2 kg of dick. Go show them who's boss!

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Also: you totally do know everything there is to know about deep sea submarines

[–] October1@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago

Invite your friends!

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[–] gaymer@aussie.zone 1 points 6 hours ago

What about trump ?

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 19 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

This is hilarious. Within the last few weeks Sam Harris was talking about how he would hate to die as side effects of having unnecessary surgery like a nose job, and they kind of laughed about how unlikely that is but still within the realm of possibility. And here we are ~~days~~ 6 years later, and a guy with over a billion dollars couldn't even buy a bigger dick without losing his life.

[–] Taldan@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] 2ndSkin@sh.itjust.works 8 points 12 hours ago

The verdict was Wednesday, which is 2026.

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 30 points 15 hours ago

Thank you for your service, penis enlargement surgeons.

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 53 points 17 hours ago

I applaud billionaire willing to die to show us what's right and wrong. Submarine excursions when you have no clue what you're doing, ruining the lives of millions with price hikes, penis enlargement surgery with unlicensed surgeons… keep at it billionaires. Let's step: going to Mars without a backup plan, because thinking things ahead is for pussy. You can do it!

[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 23 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

one billionaire down, 3,027 more to go

[–] tomiant@piefed.social 8 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Sadly, that won't matter unless we take out their kids too. I mean that's how billionaires are made anyway- literally born that way. We need to eradicate whole dynasties.

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[–] thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 15 hours ago (6 children)
[–] 2ndSkin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 12 hours ago

The verdict was Wednesday.

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[–] MadBits@europe.pub 28 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

"Belgian-Israeli businessman Ehud Arye Laniado, founder of Omega Diamonds, suffered a fatal heart attack while undergoing injections intended to enlarge his penis."

At least we get some good news this year.

[–] johnyreeferseed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 14 hours ago

I was thinking the same thing but further down in the article it says the surgery happened in 2019. This article is basically about the surgeons being punished.

[–] Chill_Dan@lemmy.world 66 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Damn what a way to go, now the whole world knows he had a small dick as the last thing he does.

[–] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 10 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Not necessarily. Data suggests that most people that feels that way have average sized penises. It's not reality what fails to them, it's their ego.

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[–] herseycokguzelolacak@lemmy.ml 47 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

And nothing of value was lost.

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 29 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

A search of his hotel room revealed he had been taking multiple substances banned in France, along with vasodilators commonly used to treat erectile dysfunction. According to judicial sources, these substances are believed to have contributed to his death.

I'd wager we lost two capable surgeons, but then again...

practising medicine without a licence.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not a doctor, but taking vasodilators before a surgery sounds like a bad idea

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[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 14 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

🥳🥳🥳

Trump and Elon next please

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 14 points 15 hours ago

You can't trade all the money in the world for being comfortable in your own skin. :)

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 43 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Won at the game of life (i.e. being a billionaire), still insecure about your PP

[–] PartyAt15thAndSummit@lemmy.zip 25 points 17 hours ago

* the game of capitalism

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

Lol, won't be missed

[–] 5PACEBAR@piefed.ca 7 points 14 hours ago
[–] VoidBorn@lemmings.world 11 points 16 hours ago

small pp boiii

[–] 0x0@lemmy.zip 14 points 17 hours ago

Oh no!
Anyway...

[–] miraclerandy@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I will play a violin that matches the size of his package to commemorate him.

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[–] MashedTech@lemmy.world 21 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I feel like... People only become billionaires because they have other problems they think they can only solve with money.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 14 points 17 hours ago

Imagine having one hundred million euros (dollars, pounds, whatever) and genuinely thinking that happiness is just another hundred million away. They are all broken, failed humans.

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