This is a Dengist community in favor of Bashar al-Assad with no information that can lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton, our fellow liberal and queen. This community is not ironic. We are Marxists-Leninists.
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Welcome again to everybody. Make yourself at home. In the time-honoured tradition of our group, here is the weekly discussion thread.
☭ Matrix homeserver and space
☭ Theory discussion group on /c/theory@lemmygrad.ml
☭ Find theory on ProleWiki, marxists.org, Anna's Archive
Have a great week, everyone! We are all in this collective struggle together. Whenever you feel isolated or alone, remind yourself that you play a historic role along with the rest of the proletariat, and as such are not alone in this role.
As always, communism will win.
I just graduated from college, finally! For four years of arduous lessons, I successfully challenged them with determination, cooperation and devotion.
Congratz
I am thirty-two-years-old today and I could hardly feel less enthusiastic.
A couple days ago I told somebody in my state that I feel lonely and she replied, ‘I hope you find ways to be less lonely.’ I can only guess that that was her way of saying that she’s still too busy to spend any time with me.
Discord is of little help. Almost everybody is either too busy to speak with me or finds it hard to connect with my interests. I tried returning to Feddit but they shadowbanned me and are obstinately ignoring my appeals.
I was so desperate for contact that I played Zombie Army Trilogy online for a few hours. It helped slightly but the other players were really quiet. I had to quit because it was making my hand smart.
I keep wishing that I never existed, but I know that some things would be worse off without me and I would piss a lot of people off if I did something to disappear prematurely.
It feels like almost nothing is getting better.
Shout out to my High School Sociology teacher who started my radicalization process by teaching me that neoliberalism started with Pinochet. 🫡
My Apache history teacher on Native American History was great!
Really radicalized me!
I can only imagine the shock of learning Native American History.
I'm not even USian, but I was genuinely horrified after learning its history by the Communist perspective.
Like damn, I thought that it was a regular country with a rough economy, but it is literally unredeemable from its inception to today.
On a more positive note, Native American's endurance is also inspiring. Hope I can meet one one day. May Turtle Island be free someday.
There was a lot of sympathy for Indigenous folks growing up in my classrooms. But also lots of racism among students (among all races, mind you; "race jokes" or racist jokes were also very rife). I think we just kinda had more sympathy for Indigenous folks though. But I feel that it was also borne out of some misconceptions and a sense of "pity" or whatever you call it; but the Indigenous definitely suffered alright and the U.S.'s policies to them are still genocidal to this day.
It also helped that we have a few Indigenous teachers even in grade school (elementary to high school).
The history on Indigenous history on the Americas (with a focus on the United States in particular) was very useful to me.
I had it in college. Honestly, I remember it well. It was arguably the first class that was truly kinda formative to me intellectually-speaking.
But honestly?
My schooling years sucked.
Evangelical principal that allowed sexual abuse to happen while he looked the other way (this was in my high school); constantly being sent to special ed classes; being almost killed and threatened by a racist who later joined the National Guard; rampant racist bullying in general; teachers allowing racist discourse, etc.
🫵 You WILL have hope, comrade.
I kinda do now.
I even think my video game anhedonia is breaking now.
Depression is fucking with me lately more so than usual and then I'll casually run into other people online who are also western and who seem to have an even worse situation and mental state than I do. Not that it's a competition, but like, I guess this is what decline looks like. I do not remember it seeming this bad even during the height of the pandemic, but maybe I was in different circles or I'm remembering it as less bad than it was. Either way, it certainly doesn't seem to have improved since then.
It's not random discontent, too. Like a repeating theme I see, is someone's home situation is shitty and/or their job. Sometimes their health is doing poorly too, physical, mental, or both. Or other people they live with have suffering health and that's part of the problem.
Meanwhile, in the US they're making the poor people healthcare more means tested. And this in an already hyper individualist, hyper divided "society". I keep wondering when "in decline" transitions to "powder keg". Not like I want it to be one, but this shit ain't sustainable.
I hope comrade @rainpizza@lemmygrad.ml is doing well on their break.
Glad he took a break, they were covering the US war on Iran restlessly.
Yeah it can get tiresome and it's best to intervene before you suffer burnout.
We had 1222 extra deaths in Belgium during the heatwave last week and a half
Well Morocco rightfully won against The Netherlands and lo and behold apart from a single incident maybe no mass riots broke out. Who would've thought? Right wingers absolutely seething right now grasping whatever straws they have left.
After the game I joined the celebrations and nothing happened. I heard a lot of honking and saw people with Moroccan flags, but other than some fireworks here and now it was calm. I wore an orange shirt and nobody cared. I did see a lot of police, which was very excessive. Some of then were covering their faces and when I asked one of them about it, he just said he didn't want to be recognized. I asked him to clarify why he didn't want to be recognized but he wouldn't. On the internet I saw videos of Dutch police beating up Moroccan fans. Maybe the police are the true rioters.
Prior to the loss, I was watching in a bar, and there were Dutch and Moroccan fans watching together without any problems. One Moroccan in a Morocco jersey said he didn't really care that much who won.
There is way too many Johnny Harris-ish CIA youtubers out there, i just saw one talking about the DPRK and they frame it the most CIA way possible.
It's July 4th in the US, and mediocre fireworks are everywhere, flying nearly as freely as our cheap beer and racism. It wasn't many at all, but I was still stunned to see grown adults wearing "patriotic" clothing. I guess it's true what they say. When the going gets rough, double down on delusion.
On RevLeft there used to be a regular called ‘pileofdeadnazis’, and unforgetting that made me realize… I simply don’t have the sincere, visceral hatred for militant anticommunists that I once had. They’re still nuisances, of course, but I don’t feel that same emotionally draining hatred for them anymore. I remember nine years ago feeling a macabre sense of satisfaction in seeing photographs of Fascist corpses, but now I feel barely anything at all. It’s mostly the same indifference when I play Zombie Army Trilogy (save for a few slow-motion death sequences): it feels less like sweet revenge and more like another job that needs getting done.
I feel like I should despise militant anticommunists more than I do, but I don’t. Even hearing about an IOF war criminal committing (say) child abuse doesn’t make me think something along the lines of ‘I want to fucking strangle these pukestains’ but more along the lines of ‘hmmf, typical.’ I don’t know if it’s my depression or naturally mellowing out or what, but it is a shift that I’ve noticed; I am almost nostalgic for the times when I was angrier.
Honestly?
You're protecting your sanity.
Especially in this world.
Its probably better to be a little dispassionate about it. Supposing the revolution happens, I imagine that if the situation calls for the eradication of fascists and you went into it all fired up it would probably burn you out faster than if you went into it thinking it was a chore that needed to be done.
i dont condemn anger and it annoys me when people, especially libs, do, but it’s fine to not feel as intensely and emotionally, cuz i mean, your thoughts don’t define any merit you have, only what you do. don’t worry too hard about what you’re feeling and why.
also, if holding onto rage without an outlet for a while just causes you problems, it’s fine to let it go, not because you’re wrong for feeling angry, but because it’s always better to be kind to yourself, and letting yourself save that rage for when you can do something with it is always smarter than letting it fester and corrode yourself. not saying rage is bad in and of itself, once again, just trying to say that rage can consume you, and you’re a nice person, and your rage should be directed at those who are evil like, you know, IOF soldiers and fascists as you said, but if it’s just cooped up in you and it hurts and you also can’t act on it at the moment, it diminishing is okay.
if you’re checking yourself when you’re alone for feeling the ‘right’ feelings in the face of great tragedies, and berating yourself for not feeling those ‘right’ feelings, that’s, pardon my words, silly (this is meant to be comforting, i’m just no good at it) you’re not a jerk for not feeling the ‘right’ way! don’t stress about having the ‘right’ feelings if your behavior has not worsened. the only reason becoming dispassionate would be bad would be if your actions started to break away and act contrary to your principles.
sorry i guess my thesis was don’t worry and don’t feel guilty about not feeling like you used to. you don’t know if that’ll change, and even if it does, if you stay principled and cognitive, then it doesn’t matter. i think (not very good at speaking).
It's kind of hard to get motivation to do anything nowadays since I have to mask almost 24/7. There's basically zero people in my life who I be honest about who I am. It's an uncanny feeling to be surrounded by "friends" in my cult that would dump me the moment that I told them who I really am.
I remember a classmate from high school who was a Marxist. I don't know if it would be weird to talk to them after 3 years like "hey, I know that I used to be weirdly religious in High School and barely talked to you but I'm a Marxist now. Wanna read theory?"
Also, I'm 21. I don't have experience with regular interactions. It's scary.
Low key sad that I'll never be able to learn every language on this planet. So many cultures, so little time.
Sometimes I wonder who profits off the fake information regarding some dietary choices like drinking raw milk and eating red or raw meat because you are just actively harming your audience lol. They will, statistically, live shorter and will on average face more health problems.
My best friend from school and I lost contact after graduating, we met up a couple of times and had a good time, but when I tried to rekindle the friendship he was starting to drift into the alt-right (had always been a libertarian edgy guy, but became completely obsessed with reactionary politics during covid lockdowns). I just found out he is now working for a US arms company.
While it is completely unsurprising, it hit me harder than I expected. Literally a company that builds weapons for Israel to carry out genocide.
This might sound cruel but self immolation is not an effective protest technique. Because when it's over, you're dead and nothing has changed.
I'm not gonna ivory tower judge somebody who does it, but as strategy goes, we need more experienced organizers who live a long, storied life of organizing, not more martyrs. So yeah. People who are willing to risk everything for liberation are commendable, but I'd rather they do it taking out an imperialist than doing a symbolic act that takes out themself.
i forgot the word for comprador so my brain just kept saying compadre
I don't know why there isn't more backlash in the USA about Independence Day. Even in Australia there is some controversy about Australia Day
This is a seriously underrated typeface.
Also, Cyrillic always seems to get the short end of the stick in monospace fonts.
What the hell is this letter?
Right wing people in The Netherlands just creaming their pants right now at the thought of possible riots after The Netherlands vs Morocco tonight
The biggest contradiction i've faced is getting called a communist, in a derogatory manner, and mocked.... by a white collar worker. Keep in mind that i am petit-bourgeois with land of my own 😅 and that is something ive noticed with these godines, as we call them here, that is the common posture of the average office worker here, it's a struggle indeed.
one thing that always makes me giddy is cool awesome clouds. my favorite ones are the ones that look crisp as fuckkkk like their shape is so well-defined. everyone look up at the sky today and try to see any cool clouds
whenever i make replies trying to be comforting i do it in one go and then read it back and go “wow i hope this doesnt fucking suck actually”. i hope my thesis is clear it always makes me so scared
I think I may be on the verge of breaking my video game anhedonia.
Which would be a major breakthrough in general in reversing my anhedonia in general.
Chat
What do I do?
Is there anything I can do to help maximalize this opportunity?
I know, it's a weird question (kinda want to make sure I am doing everything right to finally overcome it).
I will say my new "no caffeine past 6:00 AM" rule (and NOT the "no more than 2:00 PM at best" like those medical articles ke0t telling me over the years)ay have really helped.
I wake up at around 5:00 AM or 6:00 AM btw.
Honestly, a ballsy move on my part.
The cooling blanket and cooling pillows was also an inspired choice since I appear to have hyperthermia (especially with these hot nights, amirite?).
Oh yeah, and the sleep earplugs and sleep mask for side sleepers, though the first one is more useful; the second one is kinda itchy and it sometimes taken off.
The weaning off of Melatonin is great too, though my Melatonin dependence is still.
I still take 3 to 4 to 5 Melatonin tablets (each 3 mg) more or less for the past three n4or so but that's better compared to how it was before.
Honestly, no vitamins or supplements. No more abusing shit to make me feel better.
I'm off the anti-psychotics like Abilify (thank fuck).
I am only on Prozac (helps my OCD for some reason) and still Vyvanse but want to see if I can lower the dosage from 60 mg now.
No NSAIDs since my fatty liver disease diagnosis.
Lost around 30 lbs in about 45 days or so.
Which is admittedly unhealthy, ngl
I am trying to eat more again.
I have most of the blackout curtains on but may try to use them a bit less more and more; it's really hard to control the lightkng or level of lighting in my room.
It sucks also that I currently have two major lights that are all bright yellow light 😩...
I much prefer white light, especially anything that's dimmable.
Yellow light hurts me for some reason.
The sleeping ear plugs (up to 50 DB in noise reduction) are a godsend for my very bad misophonia.
Though I wonder if they're even enough...
(Keep in mind my misophonia also triggers C-PTSD traumatic flashbacks, not just my over-stimulation)
I think all this, though I can't explain how each and everything here helped exactly, was able to make me feel better and ultimately able to even think about and want to play video games again.
I feel like getting back into video games will help my mental health dramatically; just a feeling.
It helped when I was abused by my narcissistic family members, including my dad, though I eventually couldn't continue to play during to burnout and stress and didn't play anything for around 10 years or so (what I call my "gaming coma")
For a while, I even stopped to even believe that "gaming was art" due to my negative attitude towards gamers, who are a largely rightwing crowd in a lot of platforms, at least back then.
Now I kinda don't care lol
That's why I am wondering if you all have extra suggestions or advice here.
