this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 2 points 19 minutes ago

That dude looks like he's on the downlow, if ya know what I mean.

[–] SapphironZA@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 minutes ago

These are the furries to be worried about.

[–] UnspecificGravity@piefed.social 3 points 46 minutes ago

Man, if this turd had floated to the top of the bowl a week ago he could probably be the new press secretary.

[–] boobookittyfrick@lemmy.zip 4 points 59 minutes ago

He mean that metaphorically …right?

[–] kingkong@lemmy.world 2 points 43 minutes ago

probably took some shrooms

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 16 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Huh, guess the Koreans are the ones with the correct depiction then. Go figure.

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 minutes ago

Korean Jesus is fucking jacked.

[–] CoconutLove@lemmy.today 45 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Fox News interviews brain damaged man suffering from delusions

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 20 points 3 hours ago

RFK went on again?

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 3 hours ago

Goddamn even The Onion can't do shit this stupid, and they're actively trying. Fox News is like a well funded version of those little magazines at the checkout line that talk about aliens and the anti-aging miracles of an uncooked eggyolk and beef tallow only diet.

[–] carrylex@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

"Hmm yeah cool trustworthy story bro but how about you get some excommunication" - The pope 5s after hearing this

[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 hours ago

Worst biblical slash fiction I've read so far.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 21 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Good thing he took a picture...

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

That's the horniest car I've ever seen!

And I love it.

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

That car fucks.

[–] mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de 40 points 5 hours ago (4 children)

The bigger story is that Fox put this guy on air and acted like there was some legitimacy to it. The guy himself at least has an excuse for acting brain dead. What's the excuse for the viewers?

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 11 points 2 hours ago

Gabe added that ‘in America, Jesus has been misrepresented. And there are so many cultural things that present him as if he’s some tolerant guy.’

There is your answer right there. They know their credulous audience and they have their message to push.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 16 points 4 hours ago

What's the excuse for the viewers?

They have watched enough Fox to achieve a similar effect.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Was probably a distraction day.

Like the time Paul Manafort was indicted and Faux News suddenly decided that the cheese placement on Google's hamburger emoji was the biggest and most important thing happening that day.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 4 hours ago

The same thing, really

[–] ulkesh@piefed.social 9 points 4 hours ago

And this is what happens when you give a platform to idiots, brain damage or not.

[–] gatitaQwQ@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Lately, any absurd story seems to attract attention—especially when the media decides to give it airtime. People keep sharing all kinds of old, meaningless, completely ridiculous stuff just to get attention. :P

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 1 points 17 minutes ago

The media will push anything other than the facts that we live in a fascist country, ruled by a child molesting Mafia boss, all of us getting ass-fucked daily by the richest 1 percent.

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 9 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

How much cum would he need to swallow to taste the testosterone?

[–] SippyCup@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

He hasn't found the answer yet but he'll keep swallowing until he does

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

Damn... 7 minutes is nothing. This dude's on a whole other level right here

[–] notabot@piefed.social 93 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

Gabe Poirot was riding an electric skateboard at around 30 miles per hour without a helmet in October 2021 when he hit a small bump in the road and flipped backwards, landing directly on his head.

The impact cracked the then 20-year-old’s skull, causing a traumatic brain injury.

It's kind of tragic how badly a TBI can mess up someone's life, especially at such a young age.

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 45 points 6 hours ago

Severe brain damage and religion. You can't name a more iconic duo.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 52 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Riding an electric skateboard without a helmet is already a sign of imbecility; he just added hallucinations to his mental deficiency.

[–] Ariselas@piefed.ca 30 points 7 hours ago

I read that quickly and just thought 30km/h is fairly fast on a skateboard, but 30mph is just stupid fast.

[–] TeaWithDani@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

With the increase of cheap ebikes this is becoming more and more common. Saw a CBC Marketplace investigation recently where most Toronto stores they visited advertised those vehicles to the under 16, against the law. They also offered to remove limiters to make the bikes go considerably faster.

They interviewed a teenager who now is missing chunks of his skull and cant form memories anymore.

Or a young child who got hit and run by an ebike and looked like he was in a car accident.

[–] GenderNeutralBro@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Gabe added that ‘in America, Jesus has been misrepresented. And there are so many cultural things that present him as if he’s some tolerant guy.’

🤦

[–] HAL_9_TRILLION@lemmy.world 17 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

My dude, it's written down. There's an actual book. But this is America, so he very likely can't read.

Also note my surprised face that the entire account is vaguely homoerotic. Yet again, repressed sexuality seems to be at play here.

[–] Darkonion@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

"horse jesus made me gay"?

[–] Undoobitably@fedinsfw.app 2 points 3 hours ago

Cool dream bro

[–] ViatorOmnium@piefed.social 129 points 8 hours ago (4 children)

This reads like some very iffy fan fiction.

[–] StabbingSky@lemmy.zip 65 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 22 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

NO WEIRDOS, BEARDOES, OR WOMEN, ONLY STRONG, HOT, MUSCULAR, DTF MEN.

[–] Sanguine@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 hours ago

AND DISCREET

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[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 102 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

Religion is a mental illness

[–] inari@piefed.zip 20 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I'd say it's a reaction to mental illness. An attempt by people to try to get a handle on something. If you look at religious people, they tend to all be a little off.

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 5 hours ago

It’s a broad range of problems they try to fill.

Alcoholism, various mental illnesses, loneliness, and desperation get new ones in. But I think the most problematic are the ones there for life and because the whole community is there. Or for political reasons.

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[–] Pratai@piefed.ca 11 points 5 hours ago

Was never much of a Ford fan, so…. This is disappointing. Was really hoping he would be a Camaro, or even an import.

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 56 points 8 hours ago (4 children)

Ah, if Jesus was born in the stable, makes sense he grew up as a horse. Or perhaps as a camel, trying to go through the eye of a needle.

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[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world -3 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

He's not wrong that "Jesus is misrepresented", but he's leaving the best part out.

"The Apocalypse" is when Jesus returns. All of the Christians will be saved, and everybody else, the billions of people who aren't Christian, will then be slaughtered by Jesus and His Holy Army. They won't even have peace after that, as they will be tortured for all eternity.

According to Jesus, you can watch the damned suffer and burn from Heaven.

I know you don't believe me, it sounds crazy. Please read the Bible (or Tanakh or Koran) or watch fundamentalist pastors/priests/rabbis/imams, they are proud of what they say and upload their own videos.

p.s. the Heaven this nut describes sounds like an absolutely awful eternity, better than Hell, but come on just let me die

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 37 minutes ago* (last edited 36 minutes ago)

It sounds like you're confusing and conflating judgement day/the rapture with armageddon because that is a wild misinterpretation of what the bible actually describes.

The only thing about Jesus having an army is Armageddon, which is a place where Jesus would have a final confrontation with Satan and the forces of Hell.

Judgment day will see everyone, both living and dead, to be judged whether or not they enter Heaven. Armageddon happens after that.

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