1007
Billionaire Ehud Laniado dies during penis enlargement surgery, surgeons banned
(www.hindustantimes.com)
The Hindustan Times never disappoints!
this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2026
1007 points (98.2% liked)
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Including the 32 billionaires that died last year, that's just over 1% of all billionaires removed from this Earth! That's not an insignificant number. Let's make it even higher!
And this not satire, right?
d===/~!==D
it seems like the operation failed. there's fewer dicks in the world now.
Well, it didn't go as planned, but I wouldn't necessarily call it a failure.
We've all been there
lolololololol
It makes me very, very sad to hear of the passing of a billionaire.
You think these needledicks would learn from Elons botched surgery.
Kanye's mom has entered the chat.
I missed both those references.
So the operation was a 100% succes.
The poor man died on a table with his cock cut to pieces, what a terribly unfortunate thing to happen.
Now this is a feel good story
Well shit, if a billionaire can't pull it off, I'm fucked.
I can't believe being a billionaire wasn't enough for this man, he was still insecure that he felt the need to buy a bigger dick.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but women don't need a gorilla sized dick! They need you to eat them out! (this guy had a wife. We need to ask men if they crave gorilla dicks)
TBF I've known some guys who were size queens.
Just get a cod piece like respectable humans.
brutal
(Gorillas have tiny dicks)
Maybe it's a dick the size of a gorilla, not the size of a gorilla's dick.
Would you rather fight one dick the size of a gorilla, or one hundred dicks the size of a gorilla dick?
Think they want the whole gorilla
oh my, what's a big dicked beast that would be better suited for this?
Barnacle. Several times their body size, supposedly.
A cock the size of a barnacle. . . Nope, the phrase just doesn't inspire shock and awe.
Reporting for duty
The dick sounds great, but the bacterium is a little offputting, I think.
Donkey, horse.
No, no... you want a penis that can really do things. You want prehensile! See cetaceans and elephants for more details.
Not even that bigger. Enlargement surgery is highly risky (even if this guy died of a heart attack), and only promises like 2cm in additional length. Girth increases are slightly more substantial though. It sounds like he was getting the type that is just an injection of fat in the dick, which is comparatively less risky.
The risks involved are wild. A sizable amount of doctors doing enlargements have questionable standings with their local medical boards. It's also not uncommon to find places that are very vague about what they are adding or changing about your body, while promising extreme results. Infections, loss of function, constant erection due to the addition of harder structures, decreased sensitivity are some of the more alarming, yet not uncommon risks. As it's an elective, specialized surgery, practices are often aggressive and manipulative in dealing with clients/potential clients. Is not unheard of for places to require multiple surgeries, when it turns out there were complications with the first one.
As if you haven't read Great Gatsby back in school. You can't fill the void with money, you can only escape the reality
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Let this be an example to every surgeon out there that if a billionaire patient dies during or after a surgery:
It can't simply be a statistical death, their trusts will have investigators digging through your trash for years and feeding a team of laywers to find the slightest excuse to end your career even if they die because they were taking party drugs and weren't honest with you.
Its best to just refuse doing surgery on a billionaire.
Or, and hear me out, take one for society like these heroes did.
"Sign here. . . and here. . . Now flop it out on the table. . . Nurse, hand me the claw hammer. . ."
1 billionaire down, 3000ish to go.
An autopsy later confirmed that Laniado died from cardiac hypertrophy, a condition involving an enlarged heart.
A search of his hotel room revealed he had been taking multiple substances banned in France, along with vasodilators commonly used to treat erectile dysfunction. According to judicial sources, these substances are believed to have contributed to his death.
Ah, so it had nothing to do with the procedure, dude was on a cocktail of his own drugs, didn't tell the doctor, had a heart attack.
So, if it was anyones fault, it was the pathetic billionaires fault. Also anyone who gets rich from diamonds is always, 100%, a scumbag.
He shouldn't have gotten the heart enlargement surgery
good
do they have a gofundme i can donate to?
I know many cultures have a taboo on saying anything bad about the dead, but this is my favorite story of the week by a fair margin.
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